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The Man from Mexico 



BY 

H. A. DuSOUCHET 




SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th St., New York 



BILLETED. 

A comedy m 3 acts, by F. Tennison Jesse and H. Harwood. 4 males, 
6 females. One easy interior scene. A charming comedy, constructed 
with uncommon skill, and abounds with clever lines. Margaret Anglin'« 
big success. Amateurs will find this comedy easy to produce and popular 
with aH audiences. Price, 60 Centf. 

NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. 

A comedy in 3 acts. By James Montgomery. 5 males, 6 females. Cos- 
tumes, modern. Two interior scenes. Plays 2^ hours. 

Is it possible to tell the absolute truth — even for twenty-four hours? It is— 
at least Bob Bennett, the hero of "Nothing But the Truth," accomplished the 
feat. The bet he made with his business partners, and the trouble he got into— 
with his partners, his friends, and his fiancee— this is the subject of VVilliani 
Collier's tremendous comedy hit. "Nothing But the Truth" can be whole-heartedly 
recommended as one of the most sprightly, amusing and popular comedies that 
this country can boast. Price, 60 Cents. 

IN WALKED JIMMY. 

A comedy in 4 acts, by Minnie Z. Jaffa. 10 males, 2 females (although 
any number of males and females may be used as clerks, etc.) Two 
interior scenes. Costumes, modern. Plays 2'/^ hours. The thing into 
which Jimmy walked was a broken-down shoe factory, when the clerks 
had all been fired, and when the proprietor was in serious contemplation 
of suicide. 

Jimmy, nothing else but plain Jimmy, would have been a mysterious figure 
had it not been for his matter-of-fact manner, his smile and his everlasting 
humanness. He put the shoe business on its feet, won the heart of the girl 
clerk, saved her erring brother from jail, escaped that place as a permanent 
boarding house himself, and foiled the villain. 

/ Clean, wholesome comedy with just a touch of human nature. Just a dash ol 
excitement and more than a little bit of true philosophy make "In Walked Jimmy" 
one of the most delightful of plays. Jimmy is full of the religion of life, th« 
religion of happiness and the religion of helpfulness, and he sp_ permeates the 
atmosphere with his "religion" that everyone is happy. The spirit of optimism, 
good cheer, and hearty laughter dominates the play. There is not a dull moment 
in any of the four acts. We strongly recommend it. Price, 60 Cents. 

MARTHA BY-THE-DAY. 

An optimistic comedy in three acts, by Julie M. Lippmann, author ol 
the "Martha" stories. 5 males, 5 females. Three interior scenes. Cos- 
tumes modern. Plays V/^ hours. 

It is altogether a gentle thing, this play. It is full of quaint humor, old* 
fashioned, homely sentiment, the kind that people who see the play will recal^ 
and chuckle over tomorrow and the next day. ^ j 

Miss Lippmann has herself adapted her very successful book for stage service! 
and in doing this has selected from her novel the most telling incidents, infectious 
comedy and homely sentiment for the play, and the result is thoroughly delightful, 

Price, 60 Cents; 

(The Abova Are Subiect to Royalty When Produced) 
SAMUEL FRENCH, 28.30 West 38th Street. New York City 

New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogrue Mailed Free on Request 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO 

A Farcical Comedy in Three AcU '^'7 



BY 



H.'A. DU SOUCHET 



OOPTSIQHT, 1897, BT H. A. DU SOUCHET 



ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 

■ CAUTION.— Profesaionala and Amateurs are hereby warned that 
CHE MAN FROM MEXICO being: fully protected under the copy- 
right laws of the United States, is subject to royalty, and anyone 
presenting the play without the consent of the owner or his authorized 
•gents will be iable to the penalties by law provided. Application for 
the amateur right to produceTHE MAN FROM MEXICO must be made 
to Samuel French, 23-30 West 38th Street, New York City. Application 
tor th0 professional acting rights must be made to Sanger & Jordan. 
li32Broadway. New York City. 



NEW YORK 
SAMUEL FRENCH 

PUBLISHER 

28-30 WEST ;38TH STREET 



LONDON 

SAMUEL FRENCH. LTD. 

■26 SOUTHAMPTON STREllT 

STRAND 






Especial notice should be taken that the possession of this 
book without a valid contract for production first having 
been obtained from the publisher, confers no right or license 
to professionals or amateurs to produce the play publicly or 
in private for gain or charity. 

In its present form this play is dedicated to the reading 
public only, and no performance of it may be given except 
by special arrangement with Samuel French, 28-30 West 
38th Street, New York. 

Section 28 — That any person who wilfully or for profit 
shall infringe any copyright secured by this act, or who shall 
knowingly and wilfully aid or abet such infringement shall 
be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon conviction 
thereof shall be punished by imprisonment for not exceeding 
one year, or by a fine of not less than one hundred nor more 
than one thousand dollars, or both, in the discretion of the 
court. 
Act of March 4, igog. 



1 'i 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO 



iTHARACTERS. 

Benjamin Fitzhew 
Col. Roderick Majors 

LOVEALL 

Von Bulow Bismark Schmidt 
Edward Farrar 
Richard Daunton 

Timothy Cook A Tammany Deputy Sheriff 

Officer O'Mullins 

GOOGAN 

Louis A waiter from the Cleopatra 

Clementina Fitzhew 

Sallie Graice 

Nettie Majors 

Miranda ,,,.A Maid 

Act I. Ice water. 
Act II. Warm water. 
Act hi. Hot v;atero 



o 



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< 




U 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO 



ACT I. 



Scene: — Bell at rise, Miranda enters at rise r. 2 
with two syphons. Puts them on stand by 
piano L. 

Miranda. Poor Mr. Fitzhew is in a terrible 
state. It's too bad his wife is out of town. I do 
hope she will come back soon. (Hears bell off R. 2) 
There's that bell again! All right! Mr. Fitzhew 
comes home at noon with Mr. Majors; he does 
nothing but ring for seltzer and ice water. I 
wonder what he does with it all? Nice excuse! 
Just because Mrs. Fitzhew is away visiting her 
mother Mr. Fitzhew stays out all night and_ comes 
home with a strange looking man who is in that 
room now. He seems to be watching Mr. Fitzhew 
as a cat does a mouse. (Hears bell off R. 2) All 
right, I'm coming! (Takes pitcher from table r. c. 
to door R. 2 E.) Here, sir! There's something 
strange about it all. After inviting guests to dinner 
in honor of Miss Sallie's engagement to Mr. 
Daunton, Mrs. and Mr. Fitzhew both find some 
excuse for remaining away and compel poor Miss 
Sallie to make all the necessary arrangements. 
(At table r. c, turns to go up c, meets Sallie. 
Enter Sallie c. d., from l., street dress, with hat) 

Sallie. (To sofa l. c.) Miranda, is there any 
message from my sister? 

Miranda, (r. c.) No, Miss Sallie; but Miss 
Majors has called. 

Sallie. (l.) Where is she? 

Miranda, (r. c.) In your room. 
5 



6 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Sallie. (l.) Send her to me! {Goes to sofa, 
sits, takes hat off) 

Miranda. Yes, Miss Sallie. (Exits r. i e.) 
Sallie. I do wish Clementina would come home. 
It's bad enough to be the object of suspicion with- 
out being obliged to attend to all the details. 

(Bell heard off-stage r. 2 e. Enter Nettie r. i e.) 

Nettie. ( Crosses down r. c. ) You're home 
at last. I called to tell you that I received word 
from the President of the Ladies Flower Mission 
that they are going to visit the prison next week, 
and we are all invited to attend. (Enter Miranda 
R. 2 E. with pitcher, exits r. i e.) Sallie, big secret. 
(Crosses l. c.) Pop was out all night, didn't get 
home until noon, changed his clothes and went out 
again. 

Sallie. Wliere was he? 

Nettie. I don't know and don't care. (Sallie 
goes back to sofa, sits) It doesn't do to know too 
much. All I want is a loophole to hang the doubt 
upon. (Sits of R. end of sofa l. c. zvith Sallie) 

Sallie. What do you mean? 

Nettie. You see I have a scheme, I keep a little 
book, and as I discover I need a new pair of gloves 
or shoes, instead of going to Pop for them one at a 
time, I jot them all down, when I think there is a 
good chance — (Enter Miranda r. 2 e., with 
pitcher) I spring them all at once. This staying 
out all night is good for two or three pages in my 
book. 

Sallie. I think I'll try the same thing. 

Miranda. Yes, Miss Sallie, you've got the same 
chance. Mr. Fitzhew was out all night and he 
didn't come home until noon. (Exits c. d. to l.) 

Nettie. They must have been together. I'll 
swell those four-button gloves from four to twenty- 
six, and add some silk shirtwaists and a pair of 
white shoes. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 7 

Sallie. Why, Nettie, that would be blackmail. 

Nettie. Different people have different names, 
you know. (Rises, crosses, to chair l. of table) "' A 
rose by any other name would smell as sweet." I 
just jot it all down under the heading of : " Betting- 
on a sure thing." You need not care, you are fixed. 
{Sits on chair l. of table) 

Sallie. That's just what I am worrying about. 
Why, the guests are all invited, when the formal 
announcement of my engagement is to be made, 
Clementina suddenly makes up her mind she must 
go to Mt. Vermon and see mother. 

Nettie. That's right find fault. Your sister and 
brother-in-law do all they can to make your wedding 
a social triumph and you find fault because your 
mother is ill and she has to go to her for a day or 
two. 

Sallie. I wouldn't care if mother were really 
ill, but I know it's only one of her hysterical fits, 
just because I am going to be married. 

Nettie, When did she go? 

Sallie. (Rises, crosses to Nettie) Last night. 
Ben went out to an installation of officers, he said. 
Mr. Farrar called, and while Richard and I were 
playing chess, Clementina suddenly makes up her 
mind she must go to see her mother. 

Nettie. Who is this Mr. Farrar? 

Sallie. Oh, you have not met him. He is a 
nephew of the District Attorney. Clementina met 
him at the art gallery two or three v;eeks ago, and 
he asked her if he might call. He did so, last night, 
for the first time, 

Nettie. In love with you, eh? I am going to 
tell Richard. 

Sallie. (Crosses back to sofa) It wouldn't do 
you a bit of good ; he wouldn't believe you. 

Nettie. Does Mr. Farrar know you are 
engaged ? 

Sallie. Well, not exactly. Yon see he is one 



8 THE :MAN from MEXICO. 

of the stockholders at the Opera House, and when 
he placed his box at our disposal for Thursday 
nights — {Naively) well, I thought it better not to 
tell him until after the announcement of the engage- 
ment. {Sits) 

Nettie. You schemer! 

{Enter Daunton c. from l.) 

Daunton. Ah! there you are! {Crosses l. c.) 

Nettie. Hello, bridegroom ! 

Daunton. Not quite yet, but soon, eh, little one ? 
(Goes to Sallie) 

Sallie. Well, we can't set the day until after 
the announcement to-night. But promise me one 
thing. 

Daunton. You ! Anything. 

Sallie. Promise I can't make it too soon to 
please you. 

Daunton. Too soon? Impossible. Just give 
me an idea ho7v soon. 

Sallie. Now, let me see. Let's be patriotic — 
say the 4th of July? 

Daunton. All right. 

Nettie. That's the worst day in the year for a 
wedding. {Rises, crosses c.) 

Daunton and Sallie. Why? 

Nettie. What's a wedding to do with the Dec- 
laration of Independence? 

Daunton. Ever>'thing. But not to each other, 
as some people im.agine. It should be the binding 
together of two people, who declare their alle- 
giance each to the other, and their independence of 
the whole world. 

Sallie. Ain't he cute ? 

Daunton. Well, I just dropped in to say hello. 
You'll excuse me until evening. (Nettie crosses 
R. c. Starts tip c, stops) You see I have a build- 
ing going up a few blocks from here. 

Nettie. Your own? 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 9 

Daunton. Mine? Oh, no, but an architect 
looks upon a building for which he has prepared 
the plans, very much as a parent does a child. He 
watches it from the first breaking of the ground 
until the final cornice is placed. But I'll be back 
in time for the reception. Remember, nine o'clock. 
(Rises) 

(Sallie goes to c. D. Daunton exits c. to l.) 

Nettie. (Crossing up to Sallie) Sallie, I 
think you've made a good choice, and if he draws 
up a good set of plans and specifications for your 
future lives, you'll have no fault to find. 

(Both exit r. i e. Enter Farrar l. 3 e., looking 
about stage.) 

Farrar. It's all right, nobody's here. Come in, 
Mrs. Fitzhew. (Crosses r. c.) 

(Enter Clementina l. 3 e., ) 

Clementina. (Crosses 'to sofa l. c.) That's 
the last time I'll ever try to catch my husband. 
(Sits on sofa) Oh, the disgrace, the disgrace of it 
all ! To think that 1 should be arrested and taken 
to that dreadful station-house! 

Farrar. (Crosses c, front of table) But, my 
dear Mrs. Fitzhew, you really have no cause for 
alarm. You are not known in the matter at all. 
When I explain it to my uncle, the District At- 
torney, I am sure it will be dropped from the 
calendar. 

Clementina. But should my husband ever 
learn 

Farrar. Impossible, Madam, impossible. I 
have never met your husband, but expect to have 
that pleasure shortly. 



10 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Clementina. Are you quite sure my identity 
has been entirely concealed? 

Farkar. Quite positive. No one saw you at the 
Cleopatra. 

Clementina. Yes, that waiter saw me. 

Farrar. I'll have him arrested, put out of the 
way until you are quite safe. But, Mrs. Fitzhew, 
I would like to speak to you about your sister, 
Sallie. 

Clementina. (Aside, crosses r.) If she is 
engaged to Richard, he may withdraw his influence. 

Farrar. I have only met her once, but she is 
quite my ideal of "-omanhood. 

Clementina. You must call on her, ^Ir. Farrar. 

Farrar, Thank you. (Starts up c.) 

Clementina. But how about my afifair? 
(Rises) 

Farrar. (Crosses back to her, l. c.) I repeat, 
Madam, you have no cause for alarm. (Crosses to 
c. D.) I'll go and see my uncle at once — but may 
I call again to see her? 

Clementina. (Rises, crosses up c.) Yes, any 
time, only see me safely through this horrid affair 
first. 

Farrar. I'll do all in my power for your sake, 
and hers. (Exits c. /o l.) 

Clementina. (Crosses r. c.) Thank you. 
What am I to do? Thirty guests will hear of her 
engagement to-night, they may tell Mr. Farrar and 
then he'll refuse to help me. Oh, I must in some 
way postpone it. (Crosses l. c. Sits on sofa l. c. 
Enter Nettie r. i e.) 

Nettir You here! Why, I thought you went 
to see your mother ? 

Clementina. (Rises) Yes, I know. (Takes 
Nettie to sofa — both sit) Nettie, I can depend 
upon you. Mr. Farrar must not learn of Sallie's 
engagement for a few days. Can't you think of 
some way to postpone it ? 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. ii 

Nettie. Why, has your mother- 



Clementina. My mother knows nothing at all 
about it. I have not even seen my mother. 

Nettie. But you said 

Clementina. Yes, but it was all an excuse — a 
wretched, wretched excuse. Nettie, promise me 
that you will keep my secret. 

Nettie. Why, of course I will — but you are 
nervous. 

Clementina. Nervous ! Why, if I were of a 
nervous disposition, I would never be able to stand 
it. I'm not a bit nervous — simply agitated, upset. 
(Crash. She starts, rises) Oh, what was that? 

Nettie. Nothing, dear ; perhaps Sallie, upstairs. 

Clementina. (Sits) The disgrace! Assure 
me you will keep it from my husband, from Sallie, 
from everj'body ! 

Nettie. Why, of course, I will. 

Clementina. Nettie, I overheard your father 
suggesting to my husband that as I was going on a 
visit to my mother, it would be a good time for 
them to take in that racket with the girls. 

Nettie. What's a racket? 

Clementina. That's what I wanted to know, 
but I found out. I am not jealous — Nettie, no one 
could accuse me of that, but I determined to see 
for myself. Last night I went to the Cleopatra, 
the scene of the racket. 

Nettie. Oh, I know, that's one of those_ places 
where meals are served while the entertainment 
is going on. 

Clementina. Yes, but how do you know that? 

Nettie. Oh. I have heard Pop speak of them, 
but I always supposed Mr. Fitzhew was such a 
model husband. 

Clementina. Yes, Nettie, that is just why I 
suspected him. (Starts— rises) Oh, what was 
that? 

Nettie. (Rises) Nothing, dear. You are 



12 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

nervous. (Sits. Pulls Clementina down in seat) 
Clementina. Nervous? Why, the idea! I am 

not a bit nervous. (Crash off -stage r. 3 e. Rises, 

crosses c.) Now that zvas something. 
Nettie. Yes, but don't worry. Sit down and 

tell me all about last night. 

(Both sit.) 

Clementina. Nettie, you know I'm not jealous 
— no one could accuse me of that — when Mr. 
Fitzhew left the house last night, instead of going 
to my mother, I prevailed upon Mr. Farrar to 
accompany me to this awful place, the Cleopatra. 
I was heavily veiled and had just entered the room 
into which we were shown by an officious waiter, 
when the place was raided by the police, and we 
were all taken to that dreadful station-house. 

Nettie. And Mr. Fitzhew? 

Clementina. He could not have been there, be- 
cause everyone was arrested and he was not among 
them, for I saw them all. 

Nettie. And they all saw you? 

Clementina. No, thank Heaven, no one but 
that wretched waiter. As I fell fainting into a 
chair, he rushed toward me with a glass of water, 
and raising my veil before I could prevent it, 
drenched me with its icy contents. We were re- 
leased, pending further investigation. Mr. Farrar 
assures me he will be able to hush the matter up, 
but I am in hourly, momentary terror that my hus- 
band may learn of my disgrace. (Rises, crosses c.) 

Nettie. (Rises) But can you trust Mr. Farrar 
to keep your secret f 

Clementina. I must, there is no alternative. 
But Sallie must never know. Where is she? 

Nettie. Upstairs, preparing to go with me to 
meet you. Come, (Starts up l. c.) dear, jump in 
a taxi, and hurr}- to the depot. I will delay her 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 13 

here, to give you time to get there, we will meet 
you as though the train had just come in. 

Clementina. You will find me in the station- 
house. (Crossing to c. d.) 

Nettie. Station-house ? 

Clementina. I mean the waiting-room. {Exit 
Clementina c. to l.) 

Nettie. And my Pop in it, too. I'll add a new 
Aeroplane suit to that list. (Crosses to door R. 3 e.) 

(Enter Majors l, 3 e., window.) 

Majors. Hello, Nettie dear. 
. Nettie. I say. Pop, I have no time to talk busi- 
ness with you now, but when I return, I have a few 
important things to say. (Exit Nettie l. i e.) 

Majors. All right, my dear, good-day, good- 
day. Well, that was a nice scrape Fitz got into 
last night. I suppose I will have to get him out 
of it, as I always do. I must start in to fix this 
thing up some way — where will I begin? I must 
get rid of that Sherifif at any cost, before Fitzhew's 
wife gets back. (Crosses r. 2, calls) Cook! 
Cook! Come here. (Crosses c. Enter Cook r. i 
E.) Where is Mr. Fitzhew? 

Cook. (r. c.) He's in his room, dressing. 

Majors. Has he seen you yet ? 

Cook. No, but I've been watching him for the 
last two hours from behind that door. 

Majors. Oh ! but he had a bird on last night. 

Cook. I think it about time you bring him out, 
he'd better be posted before his wife comes home. 

Majors. I say, Cook, can't I induce you to 
leave the house? As I said before, / will be per- 
sonally responsible for his appearance. 

Cook. And as I said before, it can't be done. 
Money might have got him off, but he insulted His 
Honor, and they are going to make an example of 
him. He's got to go with me to the Island before 
six o'clock. 



14 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Majors. The devil of it is, Fitz don't know he 
was arrested. He never would have thought of 
insulting a Judge in his sober senses. I never saw 
a man so stupefied ! 

Cook. Perhaps they gave him knockout drops. 

Majors. Knockout drops — no, I don't think so. 
A very little goes a great ways with Fitz. Now / 
have fixed it with the newspapers — he is not known 
under his real name. He was sentenced under the 
name of John Martin. 

Cook. And / was paid liberally for allowing 
him to come home to fix matters up for his trip to 
the cooler. 

Majors. Yes, and / paid you. 

Cook. Well, you had better get him out. I am 
tired of staying in that dark room, and I am going 
to keep a sharp eye on him. One fellow gave me 
the slip onct. and this one better not try it. He's 
only got two hours — get him out. {Bus. crosses — 
goes to Majors, c.) 

Majors. Oh, very well. Fitz, Fitz! (Crosses 
to R. c.) 

FiTZHEw. {Off-stage) All right. I'll be there 
in a minute. 

Majors. {Comes back to Cook, c.) Now, you 
step aside until I break it to him gently. Fitz! 
(Enter Fitzhew r. 2. zvith pitcher, places it on 
table, c.) Did you have breakfast? 

Fitzhew. Yes, three cigarettes. That was an 
awful night, last night, wasn't it? (Takes tozvel 
off) 

Majors. Awful. I say, Fitz, how does your 
head feel? 

Fitzhew. I'm afraid to feel it. Majors. It's 
splitting. 

Majors. Take a drink. It will do you good. 

Fitzhew. Won't you join me? 

Majors. No. thank vou. 

Fitzhew. Majors, for the last hour I have been 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 15 

seeing the most horrible things in my room — 
( Taking drink, sees Cook) there's one of them now, 
{Crosses to Majors l. c, Cook crosses l. c.) 
Who is that, Majors ? 

Majors. That, oh — that is iMr. Cook. Mr. 
Fitzhew, Mr. Cook. 

Cook. Hello! (Crosses l. of fable c.) 

Fitzhew. Hello! He's a telephone man, isn't 
he? (Crosses to Majors) Friend of yours. 
Majors ? 

Majors. No, merely an acquaintance. 

Fitzhew. Oh, I see. What is he doing here? 
I don't like his looks. 

Majors. The fact is, he came home with us 
this morning. 

Fitzhew. Oh, someone you picked up — bar- 
room acquaintance? Well, he looks it. (Crosses 
R. with Majors. Cook follows) Let's come over 
here and compare notes about last night. Now, 
after we left the Cleopatra — ask your friend to ex- 
cuse himself. 

Majors, (r. c.) Oh, he's all right. 

Fitzhew. (r.) Is he? Well, I don't propose 
to have a stranger overhear my private affairs. ( To 
Cook) I said private affairs. (Crosses Majors 
to Cook) 

Majors. (Cook crosses back of Majors and 
Fitzhew to door r. 2. Aside) I suppose I must 
tell him everything that happened last night. 

Fitzhew. Well, if he won't go, we will. Step 
in my room. (Crosses up, Majors foUoivs. Starts 
to go) 

Cook. (Stopping him) AT'o, you don't ! 

Fitzhew. I beg your pardon, but this is my 
private apartment. 

Majors. Don't be afraid to speak before him; 
why he knows it all. 

Fitzhew. Well, he doesn't look as if he did. 
Come on over here. (Crosses l. c. ivith Majors, 



i6 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

FiTZHEW and Majors cross l. Cook goes up- 
stage) Why don't you tell me something about it? 
I don't know anything that happened last night. 
Now, after we left the Cleopatra, where did we go? 

Majors, (l.) To the Prospect, and we didn't 
leave the Cleopatra any too soon, at my suggestion 
— after we left, the place was raided by the police. 

FiTZHEW. I remember that, I remember running, 
and I remember that dark-eyed beauty, Paquita. 

Majors. Yes, you did admire her, and do you 
know that you allowed her to take the photograph 
case your wife gave you? 

FiTZHEW. I di3n't do anything of the kind. It 
fell out of my pocket, she picked it up and wouldn't 
give it back. What happened next? 

Majors. Well, I suggested that we call a taxi 
for the ladies. 

FiTZHEW. How did I get in that row with the 
taxi-driver ? 

Majors. How? Because he refused to drive 
you to some woods in Jersey to see the sun rise 
at one o'clock in the morning. After / left, the 
policeman came up. 

FiTZHEW. After you left? It seems to me you 
knew when to leave. 

Majors. I got rid of Paquita so as to avoid a 
scandal. Now, your wife is out of town and she'll 
know nothing of this if you are a little careful. 
Now I have fixed it all with the newspapers, (l.) 

FiTZHEW. (c.) Fixed it? Fixed what? 

CooK. (c.) You had better explain to him. 

FiTZHEW. I should say so. Somebody had bet- 
ter explain. 

Majors. Well, the truth of it is, you were 
arrested. (Crosses to l. c.) 

FiTZHEW. What! (l. c.) 

Majors. And sentenced for thirty days. 

FiTZHEW. Now, don't talk nonsense. Majors, 
don't joke like this this morning. I am weak. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. t^ 

Cook. (Crosses to Fitzhew) Say, here is my 
authority. {Shozus badge) And you have got to 
go with me to Blackwell's Island and serve thirty 
days. 

Fitzhew. I think I'll go back to bed again and 
have this dream out. (Crosses r.) 

Cook. No, you don't. (Stops him) 

Majors. Better wake up, Fitz, and settle your 
affairs. 

(Cook crosses up r. c.) 

Fitzhew. (Goes to Majohs) Why, Majors, 
you talk as if this was my last hour on earth. Isn't 
there any way out of this? 

Majors. I don't know of any. 

Fitzhew. You don't mean to say that I 

Majors. I have it ! There is one chance left. 

Fitzhew. For Heaven's sake, take it. 

Majors. Young Farrar is in love with your 
sister-in-law, Sallie. Now if you could give this 
fellow some encouragement 

Fitzhew. Of course, I can. I'll give this fellow 
all the encouragement he wants. But I don't know 
him. Who is this young Farrar? 

Majors. He's the nephew of the District At- 
torney. 

Fitzhew. Well, I should say I could give him 
encouragement ! You tell him he has my permission 
to make love to Sallie the rest of his life. (Goes 
to table c, takes a drink) 

Majors. Good ! 

Fitzhew. Of course it's good — it's immense! 

Majors. But Daunton might kick. 

Fitzhew. What do I care about Daunton.. 
What's an architect compared to a District At- 
torney, in a case like mine? 

Majors. I thought you would say something 
like that, so I have already written to the District 



^■iS THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Attorney, and expect an answer from him any 
moment, b..: I am sorry for Daunton. 

FiTZHEW. Oh, let Daunton go and build a brick 
wall 'round himself and stay in it. Fll postpone his 
engagement dinner. (Looking at zvatch) I have 
plenty of time, it's only a little after three. 

Majors. Be careful now ; you don't want to 
miss that Island boat. 

FiTZHEW. Yes, I do want to miss that Island 
boat. (Crosses to Majors l. c, Cook crosses up 
c.) You seem to take a great delight in having 
me make this little trip to the Island. Now, you 
know this thing can be fixed. Majors, you know 
I won't go to the Island. I will dismiss the idea — 
(Sees Cook) No! I can't with that thing over 
there. Look at that hat? Will you take that hat 
off, please? Why doesn't he go and hide some- 
place? Doesn't he ever eat, or sit down? (Cook 
goes behind screen up r. c.) The idea of my going 
to jail and wearing a striped suit ! Why a striped 
necktie makes me crosseyed — Here I am, with a 
dinner for thirty persons on my hands — I'll have 
handcuff's on them before morning — on my hands, 
I mean. Why, it's absurd ! 

(Enter Clementina c. from l.) 

Clement.na. (r. c, aside) [I wonder if he 
knows?] Ah, Benjamin — (Bus.) Well, this is a 
warm welcome, and you haven't seen me for twenty- 
four hours. 

FiTZHEW. Hello! You see I have a headache 
and there are strangers present. 

Clementina. But Mr. Majors is no stranger. 

FiTZHEW. Of course not. (Cook looks up over 
to c. of screen up r. c.) Take that hat off. 

Clementina. What's that? 

FiTZHEW. Not you; I mean him. 

Clementina. (Turns and sees Cook) Why! 
Who is that? 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 19 

FiTZHEW. That, my dear — is — Mr. — Mr.- 



CooK. (Bowing) Cook, ma'am. {Comes from 
behind screen, up-stage) 

Clementina. Cook? (To Fitzhew) Oh, the 
new cook for our dinner to-night. (Comes doivn 
R. c. To Cook) You may step downstairs, Fll 
see you in a few minutes. {Turns to Fitzhew 
who is nervously watching Majors all through 
scene) I was afraid I shouldn't get back in time 
for the dinner. {Sees Cook up-stage) Why don't 
that man go downstairs? 

Fitzhew. {To Cook, aloud) Yes, why don't 
you go downstairs? 

Clementina. Wait for me downstairs, please. 

Fitzhew. Yes, wait for us downstairs, when 
she tells you, hurry up, — hurry down, I mean. 
{Crosses l. c.) 

Majors. {Aside, down l.) Things are getting 
pretty warm here. I do hope the letter from the 
District Attorney will come. 

(Fitzhew lighting cigarette; hand trembling.) 

Clementina. Benjamin, you seem very nervous. 

(R. C.) 

Fitzhew. Oh, no, I don't like the cook. Won't 
you get out? 

(Enter Miranda c. d. l.) 

Miranda. (Crosses dozvn l. c. between Fitzhew 
and Majors) A letter from the District At- 
torney's office. 

All. (Cook from behind screen. Bus. Start 
for Miranda — Majors takes letter) District At- 
torney ? 

Majors. For me. (Opens letter. Miranda 
exits c. D. L.) 

Clementina. (Sees Cook) Why doesn't that 
man go? 



20 " THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

iuTZHEW. Get out of here! {Up c. Bus. 
Stamps foot. Cook goes behind screen) 

Clementina. {Looks at Fitzhew. Aside, r. 
c.) Fm suii he's nervous. {Crosses to Majors 
L. c.) Don't you think so, Mr. Majors? 

Majors. {Bus. reading letter) It's too damned 
bad. 

Clementina. What? 
, Majors. Oh, I beg your pardor^. 1 hat^ ref- 
erence to the letter. 

(Fitzhew shakes fist at Majors front behind 
Clementina. Majors has opened letter and 
is reading its contents without making any 
signs. Fitzhew is wild with curiosity to know 
its contents.) 

Clementina. {Aside) I'd Hke to know what's 
in that letter. {Crosses to Majors) Mr. Daunton, 
I feel sure, will make Sallie happy — I am very 
particular you know. 

(Fitzhew has grozvn desperate and finally breaks 
in upon Clementina.) 

Fitzhew. My dear! Don't you see that Mr. 
Majors wants to read his letter? Come, we'll go. 
{Starts up stage zvith Clementina) 

Cook. {Comes f/om behind screen) No, you 
don't. 

Fitzhew. See, we can't go now. {Crosses c. 
to Majors. Fitzhew goes to Majors) What is 
it? 

(Majors looks at letter again — Fitzhew, agitated, 
keeps his eye on Majors and his wife.) 

Majors. Get ready, Fitz, I've failed! You go 
to jail for thirty days. 

(Fitzhew puffing cigarette, goes tip-stage.) 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 21 

Clementina. We must arrange some enter- 
tainment for our guests. Mr. Majors, I am sure, 
will help us out ! 

FiTZHEw. (Comes down-stage) Yes. (Aside) 
He's a dandy to help anybody out. 

Clementina. I trust your letter didn't bring 
any bad news? (Crosses to door r. i) 

Majors. Bad news? Ha, ha! She thinks this 
letter contains bad news! Ha, ha! (Gaily) 

FiTZHEW. Ha, ha! (Bus. feeling head) 

Majors. Bad news ! No, indeed ; I have a friend 
in the office. 

FiTZHEW. (Imitating, aside) And one in jaiL 

Clementina. (Crosses r. c.) Now, about the 
supper. We must arrange some entertainment for 
our guests. Let me see — first, Fll have the wine 
put in the cooler 

FiTZHEW. (Aside) That's where they'll put me. 

Clementina. (Crosses to door r. i) I declare 
it will be quite an event — just think, thirty ! 

FiTZHEW. Thirty ! She's on, Majors ! 

Clementina. I only wish it were more. (Exits 

R. I E.) 

FiTZHEW. (To Clementina) I'm damned if 
I do! Thirty is enough for anyone. (Crosses to 
center) Now, what's in that letter? 

Majors. It seems I made a mistake — I should 
have demanded a stay. (Crosses to him) 

FiTZHEW. I got the stay alright. 

Majors. I did all / could. 

FiTZHEW. That's what you did — I do thirty 
days! 

Majors. Perhaps I can get you out to-morrow. 
Fitz, my boy, we have got to look the situation 
calmly in the face. 

FiTZHEW. No! You're not in it ! If you hadn't 
said you could fix it, I would have done it myself. 
Simply told my wife I was going out of town for 
a few days but now I get up from the table — in the 



22 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

middle of the soup, maybe — and say : " Excuse me, 
I'm going abroad for thirty days ! " That will sound 
very plausible, won't it? 

Majors. Whr.t else can you do? 

FiTZHEW. Nothing — I'll tell my wife I am going 
out of town. 

Majors. But won't they think it mighty sudden? 

FiTZHEW. It is sudden — I didn't expect it. 

Majors. Look here, Fitz, how about the an- 
nouncement of Sallie's engagement to Daunton to- 
night ? 

FiTZHEW. That's so, that does take place to- 
night. I had forgotten all about that. Something 
else to worry me. You just help yourself to a 
drink, Majors, while I put on my coat. {Goes in 
room r. 2, and changes coat. Cook comes dozvn- 
stage c.) I'll arrange that with Daunton and Sallie 
until you see Farrar. Promise him anything, but 
he must get me out of jail before my wife knows 
anything about it. If Clemmie had the slightest 
suspicion — (Comes out of door r. 2, runs into Cook 
• — Bits. FiTZHEW takes hold of Cook, they struggle 
— Both cross l.) 

Majors. Don't hurt him. Fitz. 

Cook. Here ! If you come any of that business, 
I'll break you in two. 

FiTZHEW. (Puts glasses on) Remember, I 
have glasses on. (Bus. as Cook turns away to R.) 
Yes, you will. 

(Bus. Cook turns on Fit::::ew.) 

Majors. Come now, Fitz, Sheriflf Cock's r. gcod 
fellow — shake hands with him, and be friends — 

(L. C.) 

FiTZHEW. (Apart to Majors) I don't see why 
it's necessary to shake hands with the Sheriff. 

Majors. Oh, you don't. My boy ! Suppose he 
took it into his head to tell your wife the truth ? 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 2^ 

FiTZHEW. That's so. I never thought of that. 
Look at that hat — will you take that hat oft', please ? 
And sit down — (Cook sits chair l. of table r. c.) 
You'll excuse me, I'm a little nervous. 

Cook. Gents in your fix usually is. 

FiTZHEw. I know they is — sometimes we am, 
ain't we? Will you have a drink? 

Cook. Not on duty. 

FiTZHEW. (Aloud) I know, but when off-duty, 
you might be persuaded to change your mind. 
(Gives Cook money) 

Majors. Fitz, I'll see Farrar personally — I'm 
sure I can fix this matter for you. 

(Cook grabs for Fitzhew's hand. Rises, goes back 
of table.) , 

FiTZHEW. You've got it all. What do you want ? 
My watch? (To Majors l. c.) Keep your hands 
in your pockets. Majors ! You don't think he will 
say anything about this to my wife, do you? 

Majors. Leave that to me? I'll fix it — 
(FiTZHEW goes to l. Majors crosses r. to Cook's 
L.) By the way, Mr. Cook, now to avoid any mis- 
takes in the future, don't say too much, and no 
matter what we ask you, let your answer be : 
" That's right." 

Cook. That's right. 

FiTZHEW. That's right. (Sits on sofa l.) 

Cook. You want me to say, " That's right ? " 

Majors. That's right. 

Cook. It goes! (Goes tip-stage to screen) 

Majors. By the way, Fitz. here's your card- 
case. I took it so they wouldn't learn your re:.l 
name. There was only one card in it, and I used 
that. I suppose you don't remember the long- 
haired crazy Dutchman who took the taxi-driver's 
part? 

FiTZHEW. No ! 



24 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Majors. Of course you don't. That was after 
you had gone with the poHceman. I slapped his 
face. He demanded satisfaction. I told him to 
demand it when he was sober. Then he said he 
would call on me personally for satisfaction. 

FiTZHEw. What did you do then? 

Majors. Well, to get rid of him, I gave him 
your card. 

FiTZHEW. (Rises — starting up) W^hat's that? 
,You gave the Dutchman my card ? 

Majors. Don't you see, it would never have 
done for him to call on me, but as your wife was 
out of town, I thought 

FiTZHEW. Majors, if you don't stop thinking 
where I am concerned, I'll get thirty years, instead 
of thirty •days. 

^Majors. But my boy, he won't know you from 
Adam. Besides, it will be getting me out of a 
little scrape. Now, that ought to comfort you! 
(Crosses np to piano) 

FiTZHEW. (Crosses r. c.) I know it ought to, 
but it doesn't. See here, I wish you'd do some- 
thing else besides talk and give my cards away. 
What's the matter with hunting up the District 
Attorney? (Crosses up c. to Majors) 

Majors. By George, Fitz, that's the best idea 
I've struck yet — (Gets hat from piano up l. c.) 1 
knew I'd fix this for you if you'd give me half a 
chance, I was just thinking 

FiTZHEW. You stop thinking and let's go and 
find this District Attorney. I'll tell him of his 
nephew's mtention to marry into my family. Ke'll 
hardly allow his future relative to be put in jail ! 
If I fix this thing up with Farrar and Sallie— I 
may not have to go to jail at all. 

Majors. That's just what I told you. 

FiTZHEW. When did you tell me? 

Majors. I didn't exactly tell you, but that's 
Bvhat I was thinking about a few minutes ago. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 25 

Mow, you follow me and I'll fix this for you. 
{Exits L. 3 E.) 

FiTZHEW. {Starts to exit) All right. (CooK 
comes from behind screen, crosses c. Stops) 
That's just like me, I'm forgetting something — Oh, 
yes, Cook — come on, Cook. {Exit Fitzhew and 
Cook l. 3 e.) 

{Enter Clementina r. i e., crosses r. c.) 

Miranda. {Off-stage, l. c.) Whom do you 
wish to see? 

Schmidt. {Off-stage) Don't stop me. I have 
business here. {Enter Schmidt c. d. l.) 

Clementina. {Turns and comes face to face 
with Schmidt, an eccentric poetic German of 
thirty, who enters c. door. Clementina dropping 
back astonished) Are you the District Attorney? 

Schmidt. No, I am — (Drawing himself up 
proudly) Von Bulow Bismarck Schmidt. {Pro- 
ducing card) Your husband ! Benjamin Fitzhew ! 
Slapped my face last night ; I demanded satisfac- 
tion, and he gave me this card. {Hands card to 
Clementina, crosses l. c. She reads it and puts 
it on table R.) 

Clementina. {Reads card) My husband 
struck \ou? And you ? 

Schmidt. I left him mit der policeman ! I 
vould not soil my hands mit sooch a drunken loaver. 

Clementina. Loafer ! 

Schmidt. Madam, I moost congratulate you on 
dat puddin' face vind bag dat you selected for a 
husband. 

Clementina. {Crosses l. c.) When and where 
did you see my husband? 

Schmidt. Last night — mit two ladies und a 
policeman, near the Prospect. 

Clementina. Where is the Prospect? 

Schmidt. Just across der way from der 
Cleopatra. 



26 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Clementina. Then he was at the Cleopatra, and 
escaped the poHce. My husband has deceived me ! 
(Crosses r. c.) 

Majors. {Aside as he enters l. 3) We looked 
everywhere for the District Attorney, but could not 
find him. {Turns and sees Schmidt) The Dutch- 
man! 

Schmidt. Dot's him. 

Clementina. Whom? 

Schmidt. Your ideal of manly beauty, dat in- 
sulted me on my nose last night ! 

Clementina. Are you sure? 

Schmidt. Sure ! Ah, Gott, could I forget a face 
like dot ? 

Major. {Chasing Schmidt around sofa) 
What ! You ! 

Clementina. {Stops Majors) Mr. Majors, 
don't hurt him, don't strike him here. 

Schmidt, (l. c.) No, don't strike me any place. 

Majors. (l. Violently) Why — you — you — 
you! (Checks himself — aside) No, for Fitz's 
sake, I'll not strike him. 

Schmidt. My dear Madam, don't be alarmed. 
In the presence of a lady, I will not fight. I am a 
chentleman, who can only demand satisfaction from 
his equals. {To Clementina) I take my leafe. 
(Going up, aside) Und dis card to der police! 
'{Aloud, crosses to door c, turns) Puddin' face! 

Majors. {Starts for Schmidt) What! 

{Exit Schmidt l. c. e.) 

Clementina. {Stops Majors)' Mr. Majors, 
what does all this mean? 

Majors. {Both come down R. C.) Why, my 
dear, it's only a little row your husband got into 
with this Dutchman. Pay no attention to it — I'll 
f.x it. {Crosses to i..) 



THE MAN FROM AIEXICO. 27 

(Enter Fitzhew and Cook l. c. Bus. Fitzhew 
pushes Cook behind screen.) 

Fitzhew. (Clementina crosses r. c.) Now, 
Qemmie — why, what's the matter? (l. c.) 

Clementina. Fve just learned of that disgrace- 
ful affair last night, (r. c.) 

Fitzhew. What afifair? (Crosses l. c.) 

Majors, (c.) That row you know. 

Fitzhew. What row I know? 

Majors. Why, the row you got into with the 
Dutchman before you were arrested. 

Fritzhew. The row / got into with the Dutch- 
man? 

Clementina. Benjamin, who is the guilty 
party ? 

Fitzhew. Why, Majors ! 

Majors. What ! 

Fitzhew. Certainly. He gave my card to a man 
he had a row with ! 

Clementina. But who was arrested? 

Fitzhew. (With decision) Majors — and I got 
him out. 

(Cook comes from behind screen.) 

Majors. (Apart to Fitzhew) Do you sup- 
pose I'll allow 

Fitzhew. (Apart to Majors) You can't help 
yourself. You were arrested. 

Majors. (Apart) Can't I? I'll show you — 
(Aloud) Cook, am I in your charge? 

Cook. (Stepping down-stage) That's right. 

(Majors crosses l. c, Fitzhew crosses c.) 

Fitzhew. (To Clementina) There, you see, 
my dear. (To Cook) He was arrested last night? 
Cook. That's right. 



28 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

FiTZHEW. Certainly that's right. And I paid 
you to get him out ? (Crosses up to Cook) 

Cook. {Bus. showing money) That's right. 

FiTZHEvv, There's the money. And you would 
let me have the money back if I should ask you for 
it, wouldn't you? 

Cook. That's right. 

FrrziiEW. Well, then, let me have it. (Bus. 
takes money) Yes, that's right. {Comes down c. 
counting money) 

Clementina. Then he is not the Cook. 

FiTZHEW. (Up to screen — Cook) No, he's the 
Sheriff. (Gleefully) 

Clementina. Mr. Majors, my husband, to save 
you from public disgrace, has incurred my sus- 
picions. Thank Heaven they were not justified. 
(Kisses FiTZHEW on left cheek) 

FiTZHEW. (Smiles on Majors) Other side, 
Clemmy. 

Clementine. (Kisses him on other cheek. 
Turning to Majors) You repaid his generosity 
by basely using his name. 

FiTZHEW. Coward ! 

Clementina. (Meaningly) There will be only 
iwenty-nine covers at the dinner this evening. 
(Exit Clementina r. i e.) 

FiTZHEW. Twenty-eight — she don't know Fm 
going yet. 

Majors. So Fm the convict now, am I ? 

Cook. That's right! (Laughs. Goes up-stage, 
behind screen) 

Majors. Shut up! (Goes to Fitzhew) Fitz, 
you'll never know the extent of my friendship for 
you. I am willing to make some sacrifices but 
damned if Fll go to jail. (Crosses r.) 

Fitzhew. I don't blame you, Majors, I won't 
either. (Bus. takes pitcher, starts to exit l., comes 
back and gets hat) 

Majors. Where are you going? 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 29 

FiTZHEW. I'll go to the District Attorney's 
office — I'll go to his house — I'll go to court, if 
necessary — but I will not go to jail! 

Majors. But hadn't I better go 

FiTZHEW. No, no, you do nothing. This time 
I'll go alone — with Cook. Come on, Cook. {Exit 
FiTZHEW and Cook l. 3) 

Majors. Stay here — and no dinner — why, I 
haven't had any lunch. Confound it, I haven't had 
breakfast. (Crosses c. Enter Miranda from c. d. 
L. with card) Hello, Miranda, what have you 
there ? 

Miranda. A card for Mr. Fitzhew. 

Majors. He has just stepped out ; I'll take it. 
(Takes card; reads) Edward Farrar, Attorney-at- 
law. Send him here. (Exit Miranda c. d. l. look- 
ing at card) I'll act for Fitz. I'll give this young 
fellow all the encouragement necessary to obtain his 
influence with his uncle, the District Attorney. Let 
me see. (Crosses c.) 

(Enter Edward Farrar c. l. A smart young man, 
assuming an air of diffidence and simplicity, 
comes down l. c. zvith eyes cast down.) 

Farrar. (Very politely) My uncle, the Dis- 
trict Attorney, Mr. Fitzhew — (Looks up) I beg 
your pardon. Why, it's Mr. Majors! 

Majors. (Crosses to him) Hello, Farrar, do 
you know Mr. Fitzhew? 

Farrar. I have only met him once. I was 
present at his examination in Court. 

Majors. Hush! (Pushes Fa-rrar on sofa) My 
dear boy, sit down. Above all be quiet and say 
nothing about court. 

Farrar. I saw at once that he was one of the 
boys, I mean one of the unfortunate boys — who had 
been led astray by a villainous companion. 



■^^ 



^ZO THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Majors. (Aside) I wonder if there's anythii^ 
personal in that? 

Farrar, I recognize in him the relative of Miss 
Sallie Graice. I am very fond of her; is there a 
chance for me? 

Majors. (Aside) He must know nothing of 
Daunton. (Aloud) Certainly, my boy. 

Farrar. (Eagerly) If I could see Fitzhew. 

Majors. This is hardly a good time. 

Farrar. True — he goes to jail. 

Majors. H-u-s-h ! Don't say " jail " so loud ! 
We know he goes to jail all right. I need not tell 
you that his wife knows nothing of this. 

Farrar. Hum ! (Rises) Of course, I wouldn't 
put a price on my silence, but I do hope Mr. Fitzhew 
will appreciate my discretion? 

Majors. You may be sure he will. You want 
us to say something nice about you to Sallie. 

Farrar. Yes. 

Majors. To be sure we will. 

Farrar. With that assurance, I will go at once 
to see my uncle, the District Attorney. Very happy 
to see you again, Mr. Majors. (Bus. shaking 
hands) 

Majors. The same to you, Mr. Farrar. 
(Crosses l.) 

(Enter Miranda c. d. l.) * 

Miranda. Mr. Daunton ! 

(Enter Daunton c. d. l.) 

Majors. (Introducing them) Mr. Farrar — 
Mr. Daunton — Mr. Daunton — Mr. Farrar. 

Daunton and Farrar. (Aside) He's after 
Sallie. (Bus. shaking hands) I am pleased to 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 31 

meet you, sir. {Bus. Farrar starts upstage — 
hears Sallie's voice, stops) 

Sallie. (Off-stage) Very well, Clementina, I'll 
attend to it. {Enters l. 3 e.) 

Majors. Here's Sallie, I must get Farrar out of 
here quick. Miss Sallie, you have met Mr. Farrar 
of course? 

Sallie. Oh, yes, how do you do? 

Farrar. Nicely, thank you. And you, are you 
as well as you look? 

Sallie. Much better, I think. {Laughing) 
Won't you be seated? 

{Bus. of Daunton over r. Sallie r. c. Farrar 
at sofa c. Majors l.) 

Farrar. Well, yes. (About to sit. Bus. of 
Majors preventing him apart zvhile Sallie turns to 
Daunton) 

Majors. You would like to but you must attend 
to that business. 

Farrar. (After bus. of annoyance, to Sallie) 
That is, I should like to, but some urgent legal busi- 
ness compels my departure. Believe me, the law is 
ever a rigid taskmaster. To-day I find it doubly so. 

Majors. I find it the same way. (Apart, pull- 
ing Farrar's coat-tails) 

Farrar. (Ignoring Majors — to Sallie) Did 
I understand that there is to be a party here this 
evening ? 

Sallie. Why, yes, didn't you know? For the 
public announcement of 

(Majors makes violent signs behind Farrar's back 
to hush.) 

Majors. Euchre club meets to-night ! Sorry 
you can't join us ! (Bus. of getting Farrar up- 
stage) 



32 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Farrar. (Resisting) Oh, but I can ! 
Majors. (To Farrar) Will you go and see 
that Uncle of yours? 

(Majors c. Enter Clementina r. 3 e.) 

Clementina. (Effusively) Mr. Farrar — at 
last ! Tell me all. 

Farrar. Madam, I 

Clementina. (Suddenly realising) Not here, 
come. (Drags Farrar off-stage r. 3 e. Majors 
staggers back out of the way) 

Majors. (Aside, despairingly) Til give it up. 
I can't fix it. I'll go home. (Exit l. 3 E.) 

Daunton. Your brother-in-law sent for me, 
said it was important. I'll be back. It won't do 
for us to be seen too much together before the 
formal announcement — you'll see me to the door? 

Sallie. Certainly. 

(Exit Daunton and Sallie l. 3 e. Enter Farrar 
and Clementina r. i e.) 

Farrar. I'll do all in my power for you, Mrs. 
Fitzhew. 

Clementina. I hope you will, for you see the 
position I am placed in. 

Farrar. I can't tell you how much I love your 
sister. 

Clementika. Don't try — tell her. 

Farrar. You will speak for me? 

Clementina. Certainly. 

Farrar. Thank you. (Bus. getting hat from 
rack) 

Clementina. (Aside) I must find some way 
to break off Sallie's engagement to Daunton. (Exit 
R. I e.) 

Farrar. With the assistance of Mrs. Fitzhew, 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 33 

I think I'm a winner. (Starts to exit c. d., ineets 
Schmidt. Enter Schmidt c. d.) 

Schmidt. {Bus. grabs Farrar — looks at him) 
No, you are not puddin' face. 

Farrar. I should say not. {Exit c. d. l.) 
Schmidt. Now for my revenge. I haf a war- 
rant sworn out for dat Benjamin Fitzhew — der 
loafer dat assaulted me. I want mit der satisfac- 
tion of my own eyes, to see dat puddin' face vind- 
bag dragged from der house out. 

{Enter Clementina r. i e.) 

Clementina. You here again ^ 

O'MuLLiNS. {Outside) It's all right ; I'll make 
the arrist mesilf. 

Schmidt. {Exultantly) Der police! {Crosses 
up c.) 

Clementina. Police! For me 

Schmidt. I'll watch them drag him out. 

(Enter O'Mullins c. from l. Officer grabs 
Schmidt, bringing him down-stage.) 

O'Mullins. You are my prisoner, Mr. Benjamin 
Fitzhezv. 

Schmidt. But I am not Fitzhew! 

O'Mullins. Av coorse not. 

Schmidt. Dis is an outrage! 

Clementina. What's he charged with? 

O'Mullins. Mr. Fit-hew is charged with as. 
sault. 

Clementina. By whom? 

O'Mullins, The warr^.nt is sworn out by Von 
Bulow Schmidt. 

Clemhn .. (Aside) He would have my 

husl -nd arrc :ed! (To Officer) Officer, take 
Mr. Fitzhew away! 



34 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

(Schmidt is dragged off making much resistance 
by O'MuLLiNS — Exit c. to l. Exit Clem- 
entina R, I E. Enter Majors, crosses l. c. 
FiTZHEW R. c, and Cook l. 3 e.) 

FiTZHEW. Now, Majors, this young Farrar must 
be with his uncle by this time, but if he learns of 
Sallie's engagement to Daunton he'll have his Uncle 
send me up for life sure. I must stave it off some- 
how. (Cook at doorway smoking cigar) Come in, 
come in. Look at what he's smoking now. How 
would you like to have that following you around 
all day? Take that hat off and step behind the 
screen. Stop doing that cake walk. I don't want to 
frighten any more of my guests. Now where is 
that hod-carrying architect friend of yours? That 
fellow who is causing all this trouble? If I could 
only see him now, I'd tell him. 

(Enter Miranda c. from l.) 

Miranda. Mr. Daunton is in the vestibule. 

FiTZHEW. Mr. Daunton. 

Miranda. Yes, sir. 

FiTZHEW. (Bus. going to door looking out. To 
Majors) Yes, he's out there — you tell him that I 
am not at home. 

Majors. No, no. tell him to wait. 

FiTZHEW. (To Miranda) Yes, tell him to 
wait. (Exit Miranda c. to l. To Majors) Now, 
what will I tell him when he does come in? 

Majors. Tell him — gently, but firmlv, that his 
engagement with your sister-in-law Sallie, must be 
broken off. 

FiTZHEW. Break off his engagement? 

Majors. Yep. 

FizHEW. Well, I'll have to give him some ex- 
cuse, you know. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 35 

Majors. Well, you know he's an architect, don't 
you? 

FiTZHEw. Yes. 

Majors. Just tell him you heard he was mixed 
up in building a lot of saloons, and you don't like 
the idea. 

FiTZHEW. I couldn't tell him that without 
laughing. 

Majors. And why not? 

FiTZHEW. Why, it was in a saloon that I 
promised him Sallie's hand. 

Majors. Brilliant, but can't you see that your 
only hope is to keep solid with Farrar? 

FiTZHEW. And can't you see that this reception 
is '"iven to-night to announce Daunton's engage- 
ment to Sallie? It is an awful thing to break a 
man's engagement off for nothing. (Crosses r. c.) 

Majors. I know, but do you want to go to jail ? 

FiTZHEW. No, do you? (Rings bell on table) 

Majors. No. 

FiTZHEW. Do you know anyone who does? 

Majors. No. 

(Enter Miranda c. d. l., stands in d. c.) 

FiTZHEW. Show Mr. Daunton in, Miranda. 
(Exit Miranda c. d. l.) Now, you'll help me out 
of this. (Crosses to Majors) 

Majors. Oh, I'll stand by you. 

Daunton. (Outside) Oh, very well, I'll find 
him. (Enter Daunton l. To Fitzhew) I un- 
derstand that you want to see me. (r. c.) 

Fitzhew. (c.) Yes. 

Daunton. Well, what is it? 

Majors. We find that — (Crosses to c.) 

Daunton. Well ! 

Majors. I guess I'll leave. (Majors exits l. 
3 E.) 

Fitzhew. (Aside) He generally does when 



36 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

trouble begins. (Fitzhew and Daunton look at 
each at tier. Fitzhew, trying to appear at ease, quails 
before Daunton's attitude) Ah, Richard, you're 
on time. 

Daunton. Yes, to-night we publish the an- 
nouncement of our engagement. 

Fitzhew. Yes, I believe there zvas some talk of 
it. 

Daunton. IVasf What do you mean? 

Fitzhew. Well, I have been thinking this mat- 
ter over, and I am very sorry to be compelled to 
tell you that Fm afraid the engagement must be 
broken oil. I don't think there c? i be any mar- 
riage. 

Daunton. Not be any marriage? Why? 

Fitzhew. Of course you know you're an 
architect. 

Daunton. Yes. 

Fitzhew. There you are. You can't fool me; 
I heard all about it. I also heard that you have a 
peculiar class of customers, hotel men, saloon 
keepers and so forth. 

Daunton. Yes, I am aware that I owe them a 
great deal. 

Fitzhew. So do I. 

Daunton. What ? 

Fitzhew. That is, you are not the only one 
that owes the saloon men a great deal, Richard. 

Daunton. But it was in a saloon that you 
promised — (Crosses to Fitzhew l. c.) 

Fitzhew. (Crosses to table c.) I know all 
about that, but I have stopped drinking since tliat 
night, and I have come to the conclusion that it 
would hardly be the right thing to marry a sweet 
innocent girl like my sister-in-law to a man who 
builds saloons. (Bus. drinking liquor) 

Daunton. You knew what my profession was 
before 

Fitzhew. Yes, I knew what your profession 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 37 

was, but I was ignorant of your specialty. Don't 
you see — won't you please try and see 

Daunton. Is my profession your only objec- 
tion? 

FiTZHEW. Why, certainly. 

Daunton. Very well then, I'll give up my pro- 
fession. 

FiTZHEW. All right. 

Majors. (From door l. 3 e.) No, no, no. 

FiTZHEW. (To c.) No, no, that wouldn't do 
any good. That wouW be worse than the other. 
That would be giving Sallie to a man without any 
saloon — I mean — profession — at all. 

Daunton. Yes, but 

FiTZHEW. Now I don't want you to worry about 
this thing; I'll relieve you of all responsibility. I'll 
make it very easy for you ; I'll get Majors to fix it. 

Daunton. But I don't want Majors to fix it for 
me. 

(Enter Clementina r. i e., and comes down r. c.) 

Clementina. What's the matter? 

Daunton. Mrs. Fitzhew, your husband wants 
to break off my engagement with your sister. / 

Clementina. (Aside) Good. 

FiTZHEW. I have just learned that Mr. Daunton 
is the favorite architect of the saloon men in New 
York. 

Clementina. (Shocked) Oh ! ! 

FiTZHEW. He designs those gilded palaces of sin, 
from whence so many wrecks of humanity go 
forth — isn't that enough f 

Clementina. Enough! I should say it was. 
This is horrible, Mr. Daunton. (Crosses between 
FiTZHEW and Daunton) 

Daunton. Had I known 

FiTZHEW. (To Clementina) Perhaps you 
think I am too scrupulous ? - ^ 



38 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Clementina. Not at all, my dear. Think of 
that sweet girl as the wife of one who is constantly 
thrown in contact with such people. 

FiTZHEW. Oh ! And make plans for them. See 
the wives of these landlords ; go up and down stair- 
ways with them — stairs without bannisters, per- 
haps — in cases of that kind he must put his arm 
around their waists to support them from falling. 

Daunton. No, Mr. Fitzhew, you are mistaken. 

FiTZHEW. Then you let them fall — that's twice 
as bad. 

Clementina. It would never do, Mr. Daunton. 
Imagine meeting those people with Sallie on your 
arm — and be obliged to bow to them ! And they 
might drag my husband in one of their saloons. 

Fitzhew. (Aside) No; I've tried them all — 
they won't. (Crosses r.) 

Daunton. I have offered to renounce 

Fitzhew. We would not accept such a sacrifice. 

Daunton. Then I have nothing more to say. 
(Sits on sofa l.) 

Clementina and Fitzhew. Good ! 

(Enter Sallie l. c. e. She comes down c, looks 
from one to the other, sees their embarrass- 
ment.) 

,> Sallie. Ah. here you are! Why, what's the 
matter ? 

Clementina. My dear Sallie, your engagement 
must be broken off. 

Sallie. Why ? 

Daunton. (Rises) Mr. Fitzhew is mistaken. 

Fitzhew. No, Mr. Daunton, I am not mistaken. 
Sallie, your sister fully endorses all I have said. 

Sallie. I knew something was going to happen. 
I had a presentiment of it last night — in a dream I 
sa\" you with a snake in each hand. 

Fitzhew. Saw me with snakes ! Clementina, 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 39 

take her away — her eyesight is entirely too good 
for a young girl, 

Clementina. (Taking Sallie upstage to door 
R. 3) Come, my dear. 

Daunton. Believe me— (Following) 

FiTZHEW. (Crosses to him. Taking him 
aside) She does, she does — let it go at that. 

Clementina. It is all for the best. 

(Exit Sallie and Clementina r. i e.) 

FiTZHEw. There, you see it's all for the best. 
Now, you'll call and see us some times. I'll be out 
in thirty days. (Crosses c.) 

Daunton. What ? 
_ FiTZHEW. What I meant to say was, that pos- 
sibly in a month, I will be at liberty. (Hurrying 
him off) 

Daunton. Mr. Fitzhew, I will see you to- 
morrow. (Exits L. 3 E.) 

FiTZHEW. If you do, you'll have to go to jail. 
Well, I've got the engagement broken off. I feel 
sorry for Daunton. Oh. Pshaw! He'll get over 
that ; it's only for a little while ; Majors will have 
to fix the rest of it. (Starts to exit r. 2 e.) 

Cook. (Looking over screen) Come back. 

Fitzhew. Take that hat ofif. Majors, Majors. 

(Enter Majors l. 2 e., crosses to c.) 

Majors. Has Daunton gone? 

Fitzhew. Yes. 

Majors. How about the engagement? 

Fitzhew. The engagement is broken off all 
right. 

Majors. Good! And your wife? Did she ob- 
ject ? 

Fitzhew. No, she liked it, seemed pleased^ 
helped it along. I don't know why. If she hadn't | 



40 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

I should have weakened and given the whole busi- 
ness away. I feel myself slipping now. 

Majors. Don't slip now, Fitz, this is no time 
for weakening. You have the most difficult task to 
do yet. 

FiTZHEW. What do you mean? The thirty? 

Majors. You must tell your wife you are going 
to leave town. 

FiTZHEW. You'll have to tell me what to say 
to her. I don't know. 

Majors. Of course you don't know, but I do. 
I'll fix it for you. I've been thinking this matter 
over for the last few minutes. See how my idea 
strikes you. You tell your wife you are obliged to 
leave town in order to avoid any explanation to 
your guests about the sudden breaking off of Sallie's 
engagement, don't you see? 

Fritzhew. Yes. 

Majors. Oh, I'll fix this thing easy. 

FiTZiiEW. Now, when you tell my wife, be 
careful — for she is very suspicious. 

Majors. No, no, my boy, you tell her — She's 
your wife. 

FiTZHEW. You better tell her, I'll be right be- 
hind the door, and if everything doesn't go right — 

Majors. I'd much prefer your telling her. 

FiTZHEW. It sounds all right. 

Majors. Certainly. In the meantime, I'll use 
my influence with the District Attorney and get you 
out in a few days. 

FiTZHEW. Make it as few as possible, will 
you? 

Majors. Oh, yes, 

FiTZHEW. Now, where will I tell my wife I'm 
going? 

Majors. Oh, any old place — say Mexico, 

FiTZHEW. Mexico ! 

Cook. {Looking over screen) Say, you want 
to gc£ a move on, I can't stay here a'l day. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 41 

FiTZHEW. (I'Vithout looking, to Majors) Has 
he got it on ? 

Majors. Yes. 

FiTZHEw. (To Cook) Take that hat off! 

Majors. Now, Fitz, I've told you what to tell 
your wife. I think it's a good idea to try and get 
the District Attorney over the telephone. 

FiTZHEW. Do you think he'll come that way — 
I mean 

Majors. Now, don't you worry my boy ; I'll fix 
this all right. {Exit l. 3 e.) 

FiTZHEW. I'll try not to worry. (Comes down- 
stage. Rings bell on table. Crosses l. c. Enter 
Miranda c. d. l.) Miranda, tell John to pack my 
valise immediately ; I am going right away. 

Miranda. How about the reception? 

FiTZHEW. Reception? Didn't you hear about 
it. How sick I am. Look at that hand. (Bus. 
showing hand) The other one is just as bad. I 
am stricken down with a fever, and I just received 
a telegram about my fever, and I must see about 
it. You tell the guests this reception is postponed. 

Miranda. For how long. 

FiTZHEW. Thirty days. (l. c.) 

(Exit Miranda r. 2 e. Enter Clementina r. 3 e.) 

Clementina. Benjamin, everything is all right — 
{Crosses down r. c.) 

FiTZHEW. Did Sally seem to worry much? 

Clementina. She will soon get over her dis- 
appointment. 

FiTZHEW. I shudder to think of your sister's 
narrow escape from that man, Daunton, my dear. 

Clementina. I think you have acted wisely. 

(R. C.) 

FiTZHEW. I know so, I have already sent re- 
grets to our guests, (l. c.) 

Clementina. VVhat did you tell them.^ 



42 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

FiTZHEw. I jumped at the first excuse that 
offered, told them I was very ill and had to leave 
town suddenly. 

Clementina. Clever idea! 

FiTZHEW. My leaving town, you mean? 
(Aside) I think I can fix this all right. (Aloud) 
There's one thing I did not think of — my telling 
them that will compel me to go. 

Clementina. Why certainly. 

FiTZHEW. (Aside) Why, it's a cinch. 

Clementina. Have you any particular place in 
mind? 

FiTZHEW. No particular place, but I was think- 
ing of Mexico. 

Clementina. Splendid ! Splendid ! 

FiTZHEW. I can catch that 6 o'clock boat with 
Cook — I mean, train. 

Clementina. You can make it, I'll attend to 
everything. (Exit Clementina r. i e.) 
> FiTZHEW. There's something wrong here, but 
I don't care. I'm going to get out of town. Oh, 
this is too easy. She thanks me for breaking off 
the engagement and blesses me for leaving town. 
I must be dreaming. 

(Enter Miranda r. 2 e. ivith valise.) 

Miranda. Mr. Fitzhew, here's your valise. 

FiTZHEW. Oh, yes, thank you, good-bye. 

Miranda. Good-bye, over the river. 

FiTZHEW. Over the river. What do you know 
about that. (Enter Major l. 3 e.) Majors, 
Majors. Well, good-bye, old man, I'm going. 

Majors. Where ? 

FiTZHEW. Over the river — to jail. My wife 
thinks I'm going to Mexico where you told me. 
You'll see me to the train. Majors ? 

Majors. Certainly. 

FiTZHEW And write to me? 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 43 

Majors. Where ? 

FiTZHEW. Number 8, Mexico. I don't care 
where you write. {Enter Clementina r. 3 e. with 
valise, boxes, etc.) Good-bye. 

Clementina. Well, I'm ready. 

FiTZHEW, You're ready. Where are you go- 
ing? 

Clementina. With you to Mexico. 

(Bus. FiTZHEW falls in Majors' arms and curtain. 
2nd. Curtain: Cook comes down, takes hold 

of FiTZHEW.) 

FiTZHEW. Take that hat oflF! 

(Cook and Fitzhew exit c. D.) 
CURTAIN. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 45 



ACT 11. 

Scene: — Corridor drop — hacking showing cell 
doors, etc. Prison scene — Interior of Warden 
Loveall's office. 

DIAGRAM. 

It is in regulation prison architecture hut 
handsomely decorated by Loveall. Tahle and 
two chairs c. Piano R. Sidehoard and sofa. 
Easels, sketches, armor, tapestries, etc., about 
ad lib. Large barred window c. Door in r. f. 
Doors in r. u. e. and l. u. e. — Also curtained 
arch R. 2, leading to Loveall's private apart- 
ment. Large electric call-board at back with 
small buttons — A large button and several 
speaking tubes. Ball and chain, prison suits, 
etc., about the room, desk at back with revolv- 
ing chair, papers, ledger, etc., in desk. A 
spring shade is attached to window c. 

DISCOVERED : — Louis, wiping glasses at side- 
board, takes revolver out of drawer of side- 
board. 

(Enter Googan, r. 2 e., goes to desk — Prisoners 
cross stage back of window. Enter Cook, d., 
in flat.) 

Googan. (c.) Hello, Mr. Cook, how are you 
to-day ? 

Cook. (r. c. Looking about room) The new 
Warden's spreading himself, ain't he? 

Googan. (Laughs derisively) Well, I should 
say he was. I don't think that the Commissioners 
will stand for him long. 

Cook. Well, they'd better get rid of him quick — 



46 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

or they'll find all the prisoners in dress suits. This 
fellow is too easy-going for a warden. He ought 
to have charge of a Sunday school class instead of 
a prison. Now look at this room, Loveall is turnin' 
it into a dude's bood-war and art gallery insteaji of 
a Warden's office. (During speech Cook goes to 
table, and sits on table at back) 

GooGAN. (Comes down r. of table) Speakin' 
o' dudes — that dude supper raid over there at the 
Cleopatra was hot stuff, wasn't it? 

Cook. (r. c.) Did you see this in to-day's 
paper? (Points to article — gives paper to 
(Googan) They've ordered an investigation. It 
seems there was a mysterious, heavily-veiled woman 
that they're trying to get hold of as a witness. The 
only one that seen her face was that prisoner — he 
was one of the waiters at the Cleopatra, but they 
couldn't get anything out of him — he wouldn't open 
his mouth — said he couldn't remember. 

GooGAN. Oh, I guess he was pretty well paid 
for it. 

Cook. Oh, \ don't know — I rather think he was 
telling the truth. The Judges over there wouldn't 
have it though, so they sentenced him for contempt. 
See here, 89, you've been hanging around here long 
enough. Now you get back to work in the kitchen 
where you belong. Come on, get a move on you. 
(Exit Louis L. 3 E.) Look out for 89— he's a 
pretty tough customer. 

GooGAN. All right, sir. (Goes to desk) 

Cook. Googan, do you know that the ladies of 
the Flower Mission are over here to-day? I seen 
one of 'em throwing a bunch of roses to Mike the 
strangler and he offered to swap them to me for a 
chew of tobacco. (Miranda crosses back of 
window) Hello ; here's one of them now. (Googan 
starts toward door; Cook intercepts him) Excuse 
me! I'll do the perlite. (Opens door; exaggerated 
t?ow) 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 47 

(Enter Miranda, d. f. Ignores Cook; goes to 

GOOGAN.) 

Miranda. Hello Jimmie! 

GooGAN. Hello Miranda ; you're looking prettier 
than ever. 

Miranda. (Looking about) My! what a lot of 
improvements ! (Starts toward bell board) What 
are all these bells for ? 

Cook. Go away from there ; you see those are 
the keeper's bells, there's a bell for every ward 
and the big one there is for a general alarm. If 
that bell were to ring now, we'd have the whole 
Island in an uproar. 

]\Iiranda. Why ? 

Cook. Because it would be a signal of a riot, 
or an attempt to escape of the prisoners. 

Miranda. What would they do then? 

Cook. Fire the cannon and everyone attempting 
to leave the Island would be shot from the opposite 
shore. 

Miranda. Well, I wouldn't attempt to escape. 

Cook. I hope not. (Exit r. 3 e.) 

Miranda, (r. c.) Say, Mr. Cook, I left the 
Ladies of the Flower Mission distributing some of 
the flowers ; I brought these for you. They have 
some beautiful ones for the poor prisoners to-day. 

(Majors passes zvindow from l., sees Miranda 
and hides as she goes out.) 

Googan, (Up c.) What's your hurry ? 

Miranda. I must go, they're waiting for me 
but I'll be back. (Exit r. 3. Enter Majors r. f.) 

Majors. Warden Loveall in? 

Googan. Yes, sir. He's in his room — I'll call 
him. (Exit R. I E.) 

Majors. Must be the same. Same old foppv 
Loveall. His office is quite artistically arrangea. 
(Crosses l. c.) 



48 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

(Enter Loveall from arch r. 2 e.) 

LovEALL. Ah, Majors — delighted old chap, de- 
lighted to see you. (Crosses c.) 
Majors. Hello, Will ! 

(Enter Googan r. 2 e., starts to exit d. in flat.) 

Loveall. How well you look. One minute : 
Googan, tell No. 90 that the lawyer he wanted will 
be here in half an hour. 

Googan. Yes, sir. (Exit d. in flat) 

Majors. Will, you didn't tell me that you were 
Warden here. 

Loveall. I'm not likely to be long — temporary 
appointment — the Commissioners offered me this — 
I took it until something better turns up — I manage 
to make myself comfortable, however, and indulge 
my tastes for art and music. (Pointing around) 
Have a drink? (Crosses to sideboard) Smoke? 
(Crosses to desk) — Shall I warble something? 
(Crosses to piano) 

Majors. (Bus. of declining) No, no. I made 
up my mind to see you ten days ago. (c.) 

Loveall. Ten days ago and you've just got 
here — that's just like you, Majors. 

Majors. (Up r. c.) The fact is, I've been lay- 
ing low — I've been mixed up in a row with a crazy 
Dutchman. I learned that he had applied for a 
warrant to arrest me and 

Loveall. (Laughing) Ha, ha, ha ! the sam.e old 
game! Who was she, Majors? (Down r. c.) 

Majors. She — there was no '* she " in it — I 
want to see you about a friend of mine whom 
you've got here. 

Loveall. Not a prisoner? 

Majors. Yes, John Martin. 

Loveall. John Martin? 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 49 

Majors. I promised Martin I would stand by 
him. {Crosses in front up to register) 

LovEALL. And you've only waited ten days to 
keep your promise. {Goes to desk) Nothing like 
having a friend, Majors. {Looking over book) 

Majors. The anticipation, no doubt, will 
enhance his pleasure. 

LovEALL. He must be just about delirious with 
joy by this time — {Finding name in book) Ah, 
John Martin, cell No. yy. {Rings and comes 
doivn L. c.) I remember him — came here with 
Cook, the Deputy — seemed a decent sort of chap. 

Majors. Yes, he's a nice fellow ; to tell you the 
truth. Will, I want to stay here in jail with Martin, 
till that Dutchman's affair blows over. I'll confess 
to you, Will, I was a little mixed up in that supper 
raid and it's just as well to keep out of the way — 
you know how it is yourself. 

LovEALL. {Laughing) Oh, Majors! 

Majors. Oh, we left the place before the raid. 
Don't you worry about that — the trouble was, you 
see I started to take Martin home — he got in a 
row with a taxi driver and along came this long- 
haired crazy Dutchman and I — well, that's another 
story. 

LovEALL. Just step in my room a moment, 
{Music cue) and I'll see what can be done. 

{Exit R. 2 E. Majors. Enter Cook and prisoners 
R. 3 E. They march in lockstep and stand r. c. 
Louis first — then Supers and Fitzhew.) 

Cook. Halt ! 

LovEALL. Cook, what gang is this? 
Cook. It's the gang from the first tier. 
LovEALL. They're a hard looking lot — how are 
they doing? 

Cook. There's charges against 89 and yy. 
LovEALL. .yy, stand out! 



50 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

(FiTZHEW steps out of line, goes to chair r. tabU 
and sits.) 

Cook. And stand up! 

(FiTZHEW stands up.) 

LovEALL. What's the trouble with yy? 

Cook. For the last three days he's been com- 
plaining about the rules and regulations of this 
prison. 

LovEALL. yy, what's the matter? 

FiTziiEW. Bars all around me and I can't get a 
drink. 

Cook. He's also complaining about his clothes. 

LovEALL. He is, eh? What's the matter with 
89? 

Cook. He is dissatisfied with the food. He 
won't eat what is given him. 

FiTZHEW. Give it to me, I'll eat it. 

Cook. Shut up! 

LovE.M.L. 89, stand out! (Louis stands out 
from line) Won't eat, hey? 

FiTZHEW. I wouldn't eat hay, either, don't you 
do it. 

LovEALL. Shut up! 

(FiTZHEW starts to sit.) 

Cook. And stand up! 

LovEALL. WTiat are you working at here ? 

Louis. I work in de kitchen — I — a make — a de 
soup. 

FiTZHEW. No wonder he won't eat. Did you 
ever taste that soup, it's awful. 

LovEALL. Shut up. 

FiTZHEW. There's no soup in it. 

Cook. Shut up! (Fitzhew sits) And stand 
up. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 51 

LovEALL. He'll eat when he's hungry. Fall in. 
(Louis aiid Fitzhew start to fall in. To Fitzhew) 
Here, here, not you. 

Cook, yy, get that step — ^get that step — ^get that 
step — (Lockstep bus.) 

Fitzhew. I got it. 

LovEALL. Cook, are they all here? 

Fitzhew. All here — how could anybody get 
away ? 

CooK. Shut up! 

Fitzhew. That's a foolish question to ask. 

CooK. Shut up ! 

Fitzhew. I am shut up. 

Cook. Yes, sir, they're here. 

Loveall. Call the roll ! 

Cook. (As Cook calls — Prisoners repeat num- 
ber) 89, 51, 45, 23, yy. 

Fitzhew. Keno. 

Loveall. Cook, who is that second one there? 

Cook. That — that's Spike Finnigan. 

Loveall. What is he in for? 

Cook. For strangling his mother-in-law. 

Fitzhew. (To prisoner, and shakes hands) 
Good boy, Spike — I don't blame him. (Crosses to 
Warden) You would do the same thing yourself. 
(Stops lockstep) 

Cook. (Crosses to Fitzhew) Shut up and get 
that step — get that step — (Bus. gets lockstep) 

Fitzhew. Mr. Warden, couldn't you set a day, 
sav Thursday, to do it with this foot. Fm tired. 
(Bus. doing step zvifh r. foot) 

Cook. Get the other foot up there. 

Fitzhew. See, something like this. (Bus. zvith 
R. foot) 

Cook. Here, here, left, left, left — (Gets step) 
now you're right. 

Fitzhew. Now you see it's right — that's what I 
want. (Step ivith r. foot) 

Cook. Get that other foot up there. 



52 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

FiTZHEW. (Stops step) I won't do it any more. 
(Bus. Cook starts for him — Fitzhew steps) 
Well, I won't do it when I get out of here. 

Cook. That will do you now. 

Fitzhew. (Stops again) I'm glad that will 
do — I've been doing that step for nine days. 

Cook. Get that step — ^get that step. 

Fitzhew. (Doing step) I'll get that way — see 
if I don't. 

LovEALL. (Crosses to l. c.) Cook, I'll take 
charge of yy — you take the other prisoners to 
dinner. 

Fitzhew. Come on, boys! (Starts to go) 

Cook. Now where are you going? 

Fitzhew. I'm going to dinner. 

Cook. Get back there and stay there. 

Fitzhew. I'm hungry. 

Cook. You stay right here — Left face. (To 
prisoners) Forward march ! (Music cue) 

Fitzhew. Louis, order for me. They're ofif in 
a bunch. 

(Prisoners exit l. 3. Bus. Cook closes door — 
looks at Fitzhew. Fitzhew does lockstep.) 

Cook. Gang from the first tier, all right. (Re- 
peated outside — Looks at Fitzhew — Fitzhew 
seated at piano) Stand up! (Fitzhew bus. Does 
lockstep zvith r. foot) Now what do you mean by 

that step with your right foot 

■ Fitzhew. I'm left-handed, and the warden said 
I could do it with this foot. 

Cook. Get that other foot up there. (Bus. 
getting step) Now see here, Fitzhew 

Fitzhew. Sh — don't call me Fitzhew — call me 
Martin, John Martin while I am here. 

Cook. Very well, John Martin. Now if you 
don't behave yourself I'H put you in a straight- 
jacket and feed you on bread and water. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 53 

FiTZHEW. Can you make it lithia water — the 
water is awful here. 

Cook. Shut up! (Exit d. in flat) 

LovEALL. Be seated! {Crosses l. c. Fitzhew 
sits) 

Fitzhew. Thank you, sir. {Sits r. of table c.) 

Cook. {From back of ivindow) Stand up! 
(Fitzhew stands) 

Fitzhew. Did I hear anybody say stand up? 

LovEALL. I say be seated, (l. c.) 

Fitzhew. What's the good of going up and 
down hke that all the time? 

LovEALL. Be seated. (Fitzhew sits) I am 
Warden here, so you are perfectly safe. 

Fitzhew. Oh, I know I am safe, here, all right. 

LovEALL. Stand up. 

Fitzhew. {Stands up) I knew it couldn't last 
long. I expected that. 

Loveall. So you've been complaining about 
your clothing — you look all right. {Bus. of look- 
ing at suit) 

FITZHEW^ Yes, I look like a zebra. 

Loveall. That's a good suit. 

Fitzhew. Well, I got it for nothing — I can't 
kick. 

Loveall. It's a very heavy piece of goods. 
Thick — you can't wear it out. 

Fitzhew. I could wear it out but they'd bring 
me right back with it. 

Loveall. By-the-bye, there's a friend of yours 
here, that would like to speak with you. 

Fitzhew. Friend of mine — who is it? 

{Enter Majors from arch r. i e.) 

Loveall. There he is! (l. c. Bus. Fitzhew 
cries, stamps foot a la lockstep) Shut up! 

Fitzhew. {To Majors) Majors, when did 
they get you ? 



54 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Majors. Fitz, my boy, I came over to fix it for 
you. (r.) 

FiTZHEW. What, again — you fixed it before I 
got here. (r. c.) 

Majors. Now I had trouble enough to keep 
your wife from following you to Mexico. I told 
her it would look as if you were all running away 
on account of breaking off Miss Sallie's engage- 
ment. 

FiTZHEw. How is my wife? 

Majors. Oh, she's all right. 

FiTziiEW. Weather nice out? 

Majors. Oh, lovely! 

LovEALL. jy, you had better go to dinner. 

FiTZHEW. Thank you, sir. 

!Majors. Now Fitz, I want to do all I can to 
help you. 

FiTZHEW. T know — T appreciate your kindness 
very much, but I'm going to dinner, before I lose 
that. Mr. Warden, you don't mind if I invite a 
friend to lunch, do you? 

LovEALL. Certainly not. 

FiTZHEW. Same old thing to-day, isn't it — bean 
soup ? 

Love ALL. T think so. 

FiTZTTEW. Well, I know so — it hasn't been 
changed since I've been here. Will you have some 
lunch, Majors? 

Majors. No, thank you, I've had mine. 

FiTZHEW. Did you have yours? 

Majors. Aha ! 

FiTZHEW. What did you have? 

Majors. Oh. I had a small bottle — (Music cue) 
porterhouse steak — small bird, salad, asparagus — 
demi tasse — (Bus. Fitzhew exits l. 3 e., crying) 
Well, this prison life doesn't seem to agree with my 
friend Martin! It was all on account of a little 
racket with Paquita — ^by the way, you know 
Paquita ? 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 55 

LovEALL. Oh, yes. I understand she is going to 
marry Judge Mason. Lovely girl, Paquita. I called 
there last week — I happened to pick up a photo- 
graph case that was on the table — a dream, my 
boy,, a dream. They wouldn't give her name or 
address. Paquita laughed, said she was a friend of 
hers. I tried in vain to find out anything definite 
— so to console myself I borrowed the pliotograph 
to sketch that classic head. {Takes crayon from 
easel — goes to Majors) Prepare for" ecstasy! 
Isn't it perfect? Just look at those eyes, that 
neck! Just look at the slope of that neck^ Majors. 

Majors. {Crosses l. c.) Mrs. Fitzhew. 
(Starts up) 

LovKALL. What's the matter — do you know 
her? (Crosses to Majors l. c.) Oh, tell me that 
you know her. Majors! 

Majors. She's a relative of one of your 
prisoners. 

LovEALL. What! of Martin's. Her name, 
Majors, her name! 

Majors. She may be Mrs. Martin for all you 
know. 

Love all. She may be, but she isn't. {Places 
era von on piano) 

Majors. (Aside) I'll have to fix this thing. 
(Aloud. Crosses c.) Now see here. Will, I want 
to remain here with John Martin until the affair 
with this crazv Dutchman blows over. 

LovEALL. Impossible, my boy — I would be liable 
to lose mv position, (r. c.) 

Majors. You'll be fired some day anyway. 

LovEALL. Is that so? Well, I wouldn't be a bit 
surprised, but I'm in no hurry — just step into my 
room here, Majors, until I slip into my uniform. 

(GooGAN and Daunton crosses windozv at hack. 
Majors exits arch r. 2 e. Enter Googan d. 
in flat.) 



56 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

GooGAN. A gentleman with an order to see you, 
sir. 

LovEALL. (Crosses l. c.) Very well, show him 
in. 

(Enter Daunton.) 

Daunton. Warden Loveall? 
LovEALL. That's my name, sir. Be seated. 
Daunton. Thank you. (Sits r. of table C. 
Loveall l. of table c.) 

(They sit. Majors enters r. 2 e.) 

Majors. Say, Will — (Aside) Hello — Daunton 
here. I must let Fitzhew know what he has to say. 
(Crosses to door l. 3 e. Bus. listening at door) 

.Daunton. My name is Daunton, Richard 
Daunton, Architect. Now you will pardon me if 
what I have to tell you is of purely a personal 
nature, but I am in love. 

Loveall. In love? You interest me, go on. 

Daunton. But for some unknown reason my 
engagement has very suddenly been broken off. 
I bowed my neck beneath the stroke of fat^ only 
to rise again, determined to probe the matter to the 
bottom. 

Loveall. And you probed? 

Daunton. I did. IVIy future brother-in-law 
gave it out that he was going to Mexico, but 1 have 
since learned that that very day he was arrested 
and that he is here now. 

Loveall. Here? (Rises) What name did you 
say .'' 

Daunton, Benjamin Fitzhew. 

Loveall. Fitzhew — seems to me I have heard 
that name here. (Bus. at ledger) Oh, yes, here it 
is. Benjamin Fitzhew, cell No. 90. Yes, sir, we 
have got him here. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 57 

Daunton. Is it possible for me to see him? 

LovEALL. Certainly, my boy. {Rings bell on 
board) Anything to oblige you. (Enter Googan 
R. F.) Googan — bring — No. 90 — here — at — once. 
(Exit Googan r. f.) I will leave you to receive 
him, while I slip into my uniform. You'll excuse 
me, won't you? {Exit arch r. 2 e. Enter Majors 
L. u. E.) 

Daunton. Now, I'll compel Mr. Fitzhew to ex- 
plain. {Rises, crosses r.) 

Majors. Unhappy young man, you don't know 
what you have clone. {Crosses down l. c.) 

Daunton. Ah, but I know what I am about to 
do. 

Majors. I beg of you to let me see this prisoner 
first. 

(Enter Googan and Schmidt d. in flat.) 

Googan. No. 90. (Exit d. in flat) 
Majors, (l. c.) Now, Fitz 

{Bus. Daunton going up to Schmidt.) 

Daunton. (r.) Who the deuce can he be ? 
Majors. (Aside) If it ain't that damned 

Dutchman with Fitzhew's name 

Schmidt. I haf for a lawyer sent. It is you? 

(R. C.) 

Majors. (Crosses r. c. to Schmidt) Hovr 
dare you use my friend's name? 

Schmidt. I want nothing mit you, puddin' face 
Trind bag. I want nothing mit you until I am front* 
dis place out. Now, Mr. Lawyer. 

Daunton. You are mistaken, I am not a lawyer. 
You're not the man I want to see. 

Majors. The less you say the better. 

Schmidt. I vill say what I like. (Crosses to L.) 

Daunton. I tell you I demand an erplanation. 



58 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

^Tajors. He can't explain — he don't know any- 
thing — he's crazy ! 

Schmidt. I'll make you crazy when I get from 
dis place out. 

(Enter Love all arcJi r. 2 e.) 

Majors. If you know what is best for your- 
self 

Daunton. (Crosses l.) Excuse me, I know 
my business. 

Schmidt. Yes, he knows his business. 

Majors. But you don't know yours, do you? 

Schmidt. No. Yes I do know my — business. _ 

LovEALL. Here, here, here, what do you take this 
for. a lunatic asylum? 

Majors. One moment. Will "| 

Daunton. Now, :Mr. Warden — y (Together)] 

Schmidt. I will explain. J 

Loveall. One at a time, one at a time, one at a 
time. (Pointing finger to Schmidt) 

Schmidt. Ah, Gott, what is de use? 

Loveall. Mr. Majors, you were here first. Mr. 
Daunton will retire if you wish an interview with 
the prisoner. 

Daunton. I'll sift this matter to the bottom. 
(Exits l. 3 E.) 

Loveall. Now, Mr. Majors, you may see the 
prisoner. 

Schmidt. T want nothing mit dat man! I vill 
leaf the jail first. (Crosses up d. f.) 

Loveall. No, you don't. (Bus. Loveall stop- 
ping Schmidt) 

Majors. Will, if you are a friend of mine, 
don't let Daunton have an interview with this 
prisoner. He's crazy. 

Loveall. Leave that to me. (Rings bell on 
board. To Schmidt) Mr. Fitzhew. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 59 

ScH^MiDT. I am not Fitzhew. (At Majors) 
That is Fitzhew. 

(Enter Googan r. f.) 

Majors. What did I tell you, he's as crazy as a 
June bug! 

LovEALL. (To Googan) Cook, put No. 90 in 
a padded cell till that lawyer comes. 

Schmidt. You haf done dis ! Puddin' face vind 
bag! (Googan drags Schmidt upstage) Don't 
push me. I haf as mooch right in dis jail as you. 

(Bus. Googan grabs Schmidt and throws him off 
R. c.) 

LovEALL. Excuse me. Majors; that fellow will 
bear looking after. (Exits r. 3 e.) 

(Clementina crosses at hack window.) 

Majors. Mrs. Fitzhew ! (Exits arch r. 2 e. 
Enter Googan r. 3 e.) 

Cook. Well, I fixed number 90 all right. 

(Enter Clementina d. in flat.) 

Clementina. I beg pardon. 

Googan. Who do you wish to see? 

Clementina. 1 am looking for my maid, 
Miranda — I am here with the Ladies of the Flower 
Mission. 

Googan. I'll see if I can find her. Ah, there. 
(Exits D. in flat) 

Clementina. How lonesome these poor pris- 
oners must be separated from wives and children, 
and what a narrow escape I had. If that waiter 
had ever recognized me, I might have been here my- 
self, (r. of table c. Enter Daunton l. 3 e. Tur^i,^ 
sees Daunton) Mr. Daunton. 



6o THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Daunton. Mrs. Fitzhew, oh, I see! You are 
here with the Ladies of the Flower Mission. 

Clementina. And you? 

Daunton. Do you think that I could stand 
calmly by and see my engagement to your sister 
broken off without learning the true cause of my 
dismissal? 

Clementina. What do you mean? 

Daunton. I know all. I know now the cause 
of your agitation. 

Clementina. You know that the police 

Daunton. I tell you I have seen the man. 

Clementina. (Aside) The waiter! 

Daunton. You were in the room when the 
police arrived. 

Clementina. (Aside) The Cleopatra. 

Daunton. I was about to learn everything when 
I was interrupted. 

Clementina. By whom? 

Daunton. The warden ! They threw the Ger- 
man in a padded cell. (Exit d. in flat) 

Clementina. He means Von Bulovv Schmidt. 
Then he hasn't seen the waiter. I must find the 
girls at once. (Exit d. f. Majors enters r. 2) 

Majors. I must steer them clear of Fitzhew's 
cell at all hazards. (Exits d. f. Enter Loveall 
R. 3 E.) 

Loveall. I wonder where Majors has gone. 
(Goes to windozv) Ah, the sly old fox — He's 
caught sight of the petticoats and a team of oxen 
wouldn't hold him! (Enter Cook l. 3 e.) Cook, 
bring yy here at once. 

Cook. Yes, sir. (Exit Cook l. 3 e.) 

Loveall. (Takes photo case out of pocket) 
Relative of yy, eh? I wonder who the other one 
is. 

(Music cue. Enter Cook and Fitzhew. Bits, 
FiTZHEW does lockstep.) 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 6i 

Cook. Here, here, raise that foot higher. 

FiTZHEW. What do you think I am — a ballet 
dancer ? 

Cook. Shut up. 

FiTZHEW. Take that hat off. {Bus. takes hat 
off and exit Cook l. 3 e.) 

LovEALL. Be seated. 

FiTZHEW. No, I'd just as soon stand up. 

LovEALL. It's all right. Be seated. (Fitzhew 
sits on chair l. Loveall r. of table) Mr. Martin? 
Mr. Martin? Well, isn't your name Martin? 

Fitzhew. No, yes — John Martin. I thought you 
said mutton. 

Loveall. I saw at once when you came here 
that I was dealing with a gentleman. 

Fitzhew. (Stands up) Thank you, sir. (Stts. 
Foot bus. Stamps foot twice) 

Loveall. By the way, what are you working 
at here? 

Fitzhew. Shovelling coal. 

Loveall. That makes your hands hard? 

Fitzhew. No, it's soft coal. 

Loveall. Your crime was undoubtedly the re- 
sult of a sudden impulse. You are married? 

Fitzhew. Yes, sir, thank you, sir. {Bus. stamps 
foot) . 

Loveall. That is a recommendation to my 
benevolence. I wish I were able to shorten your 
imprisonment. 

Fitzhew. Thank you, sir. {Aside) Majors 
has found somebody with a pull. 

Loveall. However, during your stay here, this 
room is at your service. 

Fitzhew. Thank you, sir. 

Loveall. It is my studio and office — or at least 
will be when these confounded mechanics get 
through here. Now if you desire to see any mem- 
ber of your family 



6£ THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

FiTZHEW. (Rising) I don't wish to see any of 
them — not one of them. Th:y think I am on a 
little trip to Mexico. (Sits) 

LovEALL. To Mexico — Yes, but won't they ex- 
pect to hear from you? (Rolling newspaper) 

FiTZHEW. That's so. I never thought of that. 
I promised them a letter and my wife is full of 

LovEALL, Full of what? 

FiTZHEW. Romance! What did you think she 
was full of? Prunes? 

LovEALL. She will want to know all about it. 
(Rises, crosses to l. c.) 

FiTZHEW. But how am I to write from Mexico 
from here? 

LovEALL. (Very confiding) Let me see — con- 
fide your letter -to a friend who has just returned 
from Mexico. 

FiTZHEW. Let him take it? 

LovEALL. Yes. (Slaps Fitzhew ivith paper on 
back) 

Fitzhew. That's an excellent idea, but who — ? 

LovEALL. (Patronizing) I'll take it. (Bus. — 
paper) 

Fitzhew. Thank you, sir. 

LovEALL. I'll present myself to the ladies, who 
have never seen me, as an old friend of yours. 
We met in Mexico. (Slaps Fitzhew on back with 
newspaper and goes to desk up l.) 

Fitzhew. (Bus. throws paper under table c.) 
Somebody has given him a pretty stiff recommenda- 
tion. 

LovEALL. (Comes down, sp^raking at the same 
time) I'll tell her that I have just returned from 
my vacation, the simplest thing in the world. 
(Slaps Fitzhew. Bus. Fitzhew gets paper. 
Gives it to Loveall. Fivzhew rises — Loveall 
goes L. to sideboard) By the way, have you had 
your dinner? 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 63 

FiTZHEW. (Rises, crosses to r.) Yes, I found 
another bean in my soup to-day. 

LovEALL. (Laughs) Will you have a drink? 

FiTZHEW. Eh ! 

LovEALL. I said will you have a drink? 

FiTZHEW. I know — I heard you the first time. 
(r. of table c.) 

(Bus. LovEALL with decanter and tzvo glasses, 
crosses c. and up to Fitzhew. Offers him de- 
canter. FiTZHEW holds up tin cup.) 

Loveall. What is that? 
FiTZHEW. That's my loving cup. 
Loveall. Put it down. Take a glass. 

(FiTZHEW puts cup and bread on table.) 

FiTZHEW. Fm going to keep my -eye on that — 
do you know I think you have thieves ♦in this place. 

(Loveall gives decanter to Fitzhew, remarking.) 

Loveall. I shouldn't be surprised — help -your- 
self. (Loveall goes up to sideboard, examines 
box of cigars, then brings them to table c. Fitzhew 
coughs, hands decanter to Loveall, Loveall takes 
decanter, looks at it, remarks to Fitzhew) Great 
stuff! 

Fitzhew. That's what b jught me over here. 
(Bus. gives decanter to Lov:; .^x.) Thank you, 
sir. (Coughs) It's dusty in h:re. 

Loveall. I'm afraid /di: g..e n :t feeling well. 

Fitzhew. I'll fed spieiicM in a minute. 

(Loveall pour\ out drink, goes l.) 

Loveall. Well, here's to your good health and 
that we may meet frequentlv. 



64 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

FiTZHEW. No! No! I'm choking but I'll not 
drink to that toast. {Puts glass on table — Bus. 
walks away) 

LovEALL. No, no, not in here. On the outside, 
of course. 

FiTZHEW. Oh! (Picks up glass. Both drink. 
As FiTZHEW drinks half the contents of his glass, 
LovEALL remarks) 

LovEALL. Here you go. 

FiTZHEW. Here I go? Here I stay. 

(LovEALL walks to table c, takes up decanter as 
if to take away, remarking.) 

LovEALL. How do you like it? 

FiTZHEW. Splendid! You're not going to take 
it away, are you ? 

LovEALL. Oh, no ! 

FiTZHEW. Say, let's drink it all and make Cook 
mad. 

LovEALL. Now have a nice cigar. 

FiTZHEW. No, have this on me. I've been 
your guest long enough — have this on me. 

LovEALL. No, I insist, this is on me. 

FiTZHEW. Well, if you insist — {Takes one, 
bites end of cigar, and puts in pocket. Loveall 
lights his cigar first, then hands his match-box to 

FiTZHEW ) 

Loveall. Pardon me. 

FiTZHEW. I wish you would pardon me. How 
long have you been here ? 

Loveall. Oh, about nine months. 

FiTZHEW. That beats me. I've been here nine 
days, seems like nine years to me. {Puts match- 
box in his pocket) 

Loveall. Don't you know we have prisoners 
here — {Business. Touching Fitzhew on his 
shoulder) My match-box, please. 

FiTZHEW. I beg pardon. {Stamps foot. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 65 

Takes :natch-hox from his pocket, polishes it on 
coat. Bus. hands match-box tc Loveall) 

LovEALL. How do you like my rooms ? 

FiTziTEw. This one is all right. You didn't see 
the one they gave me, did you? 

Loveall. {Looking back out at cell and rc' 
marking) Oh, yes, yy"^ 

FiTZHEW. (Points back) Yes, there it is— ^ 
that hole in the wall. 

Loveall. Yes, the first tier. 

FiTZHEW. Was I ? 

Loveall. Were you what? 

FiTZHEW. You said first here, didn't you? 

Loveall. No, no, no — the first tier. 

FiTZHEW. Oh, I thought you said I was the 
first here. By the way, speaking of rooms, I wish 
you would throw a little more hay in my -stall. 

Loveall. That room is rather small, never 
mind, we'll give you a better one the next, time 
you come. 

FiTZHEW. The same rate? 

Loveall. (Puffing at cigar and blowing it in 
FiTZHEw's face) How do you like that cigar? 

FiTZHEW. Very good. 

LovE.'VLL. Good! I should say so — eighteen 
cents a piece. (Walks back to desk and turns on 
FiTZHEws' follozving speech) 

FiTziiEv/. I thought they were made here. I 
think you got the eighteen cent one, 

Loveall. Well, I like that! 

FiTZiiEw. Well, yot might like that, but you 
ought to try this — this is awful. 

Loveall. We had better get at that letter, eh? 
(Goes to desk, gets writing materials, etc., places 
it on table) 

FiTZKEW. Just as you say. 

Loveall. Be seated. There. You will find 
pen, ink and paper. (Crosses to piano r. Fitzhew 
sits R. of table) 



56 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

FiTZHEW. You haven't a pencil, have you? 

LovEALL. What's the matter? Don't you like 
the pen? 

FiTZHEW. No — I do not like the pen as far as 
I have gone. (Pickiug up pen) Oh, this I 
(LovEALL gives pencil to Fitzhew) Mr. Warden, 
have you got the fellow here that sold you these 
cigars? (Loveall goes to piano and plays very 
softly, some pathetic ballad, until cue from 
FiTZHEW to stop. FiTZHEVsr bus. at table, cleans 
eye-glasses, etc. Fitzhew bus. crying) Do you 
know any other gavotte than that one, Mr. 
Warden ? 

LovEALL. I beg your pardon. (Rises — sighs) 
Ah. these poor devils. 

FiTZHEW. Thank you, sir. (IVriies) City of 
Mexico — (Piano bus. Loveall rests his arm on 
keyboard of piano) Why don't you sit over here 
— it's softer on the sofa. (Loveall crosses back 
of piano, starts to examine unfinished crayon. 
FiTZHEW zvriting) City of Mexico, June yy — 
(Bus. of erasing the yy) June 17th. Dearest 
Clementina. I am at the Hotel Jardin, I have just 
met my dear friend — "(Speaks to Loveall) 
What is your name, please? (By this time 
Loveall is seated at piano stool, and turns on re- 
mark, " What is your na^ncf") 

Loveall. Loveall ! 

FiTZHEW. Thank you, sir. (Writes again) 
My dearest friend — Warden Loveall. 

Loveall. No — no — no — no — Great Scott ! Not 
warden — no, no 

FiTZHEW. I know, I'm rubbing it out. (Bus. 
zvith paper. Erasing same) 

Loveall. Put down artist and musician. 

FiTZHEW. Thank you, sir. Artist in Mexico, 
just the thing. 

Loveall. Have another drink. (Loveall sits 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 67 

at piano. Starts on unfinished crayon, at same time 
looks at photo case) 

FiTZHEW. Thank you, sir. (Pours drink in tin 
cup, pours liquid on bread and sits. Writes again. 
Writing) My dear friend, Loveall, will deliver 
the message 1 am unable to write. Now for a 
description of Mexico. 

(Loveall looking at photo case.) 

Loveall. And to think I am going to see her 
and with such a recommendation. (Sighs) Those 
eyes — that neck ! 

FiTZHEW. You don't want me to write that, do 
you? 

Loveall. No, no, pardon me. (Places crayon 
on piano) I was just talking to myself. 

(Enter Edward Farrar d. in flat.) 

Farrar. How do you do, Loveall? Where's 
the prisoner that wanted to see a lawyer ? 

Loveall. You mean No. 90? 

Farrar. Yes, Fitzhew. 

Loveall. He is in a padded cell. Come back in 
about ten minutes. 

Farrar. But the case is very urgent. 

Loveall. Permit me to be the judge of that. 

Farrar. May I see him in ten minutes? 

Loveall. Yes. Everything will be ready for 
you by that time. 

Farrar. All right. (Exit r. 3 e. Loveall 
dozvn r. of Fitzhew) 

Fitzhew. See what you think of this ? (Reads) 
" What a City is Mexico is it ? (Bus. erasing " is 
it") "What a City is Mexico — the houses, with 
streets, and sidewalks, et cetera, et cetera. I put 
the et cetera — et cetera in because they will stand 
for anything. 



68 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

LovEALL. That's a good idea. 

FiTZHEW. The trees — with roots — and leaves— 
et cetera — et cetera 

LovEALL. But you put the et cetera in before. 

FiTZHEW. Well, you see that takes up a line — I 
must fill this up with something. I know nothing 
whatever of Mexico. 

LovEALL. She'll think you're sunstruck. 

FiTZHEW. I can't help what she thinks. I'll 
have to say something in this letter. We have just 
returned from a bull fight — my bull ran second. 
Where else did we go? 

LovEALL. Tell her. (Thinking) We went for 
a row on the river. 

FiTZHEW. Good! (Writing) "Went for a 
row on 'the river ; the water was wet " 

LovEALL. Then you might say we were lulled 
to sleep by the sweet singing of the dark-eyed 
senoritas. (Very pathetic) 

FiTZHEW. Do you want my wife to go down 
there? If I write that she'll think the senoritas 
were in the same boat with us. I'll not refer to 
any senoritas, this is to my wife — we'll make this 
a stag party. Where did we go at night? 

LovEALL. (Meditating) We went to the opera 
and heard — Patti. 

FiTZHEW. Good! Wliite or black? 

LovEALL. White, of course. 

FiTZHEW. What did she sing? 

LovEALL. (Very pathetic) "Home, sweet 
home." 

FiTZHEW. Heard Patti sing " Home sweet 
Home." 

LovEALL. Well, what are you writing now? 

FiTZHEW. (Bus. writing) A little poetry to 
my wife. (Reads) " How lonely am I, Clemmie 
dear, when I sit down to sup. Oh, how I long to 
be at home and hear you say " 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 69 

Cook. {Back of window) Stand up! 
(FiTZHEW rises, crosses to l. c.) 

(Enter Farrar r. 3 e.) 

Farrar. Loveall — may I see that prisoner now? 

LovEALL. You may see him in a few moments — 
be seated. 

Farrar. (Sits on sofa r. of table) This is yy? 

FiTZHEW. What's your number? 

Loveall. (Whistle heard. Goes to bell board) 
Oh. he won't, eh? Put no in a dark cell. 

FiTZHEW. no in the shade up there. 

Loveall. Very well, then put him in a straight 
jacket. 

Farrar. Why do they put prisoners in straight 
jacket'? 

FiTZHEW. Because they're crooked, I guess. I 
don't know anv other reason. 

Loveall. That's the worst prisoner we have. I 
don't know what to do to punish him. (Back of 
table c.) 

FiTZHEW. Why don't you give him one of these 
cigars? (Rises— gires Loveall letter) 

Loveall. (Reads) "408 Gramercy Park." 

FiTZHEW. Yes. that's where I live. 

Loveall. (Reading down c.) Mrs. Benjamin 
Fitzhe^^ — you don't mean to tell me that lady is 
your wife. John Martin ? 

FiTZHEW. John :Martin ? I'm Benjamin Fitzhew. 

Loveall. Oh, come now, we've got Fitzhew 
here. 

Fitzhew. Of course vou have and you're gomg 
to keen him here. That's a gliastly joke. (Goes 
tozvard Farrar l. c.) 

Farrar. How are you, ^Mr. Fitzhew? (Cross- 
ing R.) 

Fitzhew. I'm John Mprtin 

Loveall. (Aside) He's been flirting with 



70 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Fitzhew's wife. {To Fitzhevv) It's all right — I 
won't give you away. {Crossing to Fitzhew) 

Fitzhevv. All right. 

LovEALL. He might cause trouble, eh? 

Fitzhew. Who ? 

LovEALL. Her husband. 

Fitzhew. Whose husband? 

LovEALL. Mrs. Fitzhew's husband. 

Fitzhew. Why, don't you understand that I'm 
Mrs. Fitzhew's husband? 

LovEALL. There — if she's as beautiful as my 
ideal I don't blame you. 

Fitzhew. I hope I may never come back to this 
place if I'm not her husband. 

LovEALL. It's all right, I won't give you away. 
{Exits D. in flat. Crosses back of ivindow) 

Fitzhew. {Crosses to c.) 1 hope not — {Bus. 
opening cigar-box) Have a cigar. Help yourself, 
they're not mine. {Bus. Fakrar takes cigar) 
Have another. Take some home to your friends. 

Farrar. {Sits) Quite a comfortable place you 
have here. 

Fitzhew. Oh, tolerable. It will be more so 
when these confounded mechanics get through. 
I'm going to change it all around. I'm going to 
get a larger sideboard and more stock, and I'm 
going to get a new cook. {Bus. looking around. 
Sits) Now you would naturally think to see me 
in this rig that I was a prisoner here, wouldn't you ? 

Farrar. Yes. 

Fitzhew. Everybody thinks the same. It fools 
everybody. It's a little joke on my wife — and on 
me. {Noise heard at d. r. 3) Hear that — some- 
body trying to break in here. How do you like that 
cigar ? 

Farrar. Very good. 

Fitzhew. Good! I should say so — eighteen 
cents for a box like this. Will you have a drink? 
{Crosses l. c.) 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 71, 

Farrar. I don't mind — won't you join me? 
{Rises, crosses r. c.) 

FiTZHEW. Fll show you when you get through. 
{Bus. taking decanter, pouring one drink, filling 
glass) Good ? 

Farrar. Splendid. 

FiTZHEw. {Bus. holding decanter and glass) 
Here, take this. Not that, this. 

(Farrar takes decanter.) 

Farrar. What makes you so nervous? 

FiTZHEW. {Sitting) I stay in the house too 
much. 

Cook. {Enters l. back of window. Sees 
FiTZHEW is seated) Stand up! {Exits l.) 

FiTZHEw. {Bus. places glass on table, goes to 
windozt') That's that boy of mine — he's always 
joking. Go away from there and keep away. 
{Bus. lockstcp comes down-stage) 

Farrar. What is the matter with your foot? 

FiTZHEW. Fm breaking these shoes in for a 
friend of mine. {Goes to table c, sits L. of table) 

Farrar. {Sits) Now, sir, would you mind giv- 
ing me a bit of advice? 

FiTZHEW. Certainly not. That's about all I 
can give you here. 

Farrar. I am in love with a beautiful young 
girl, but she's engaged to another. Now what 
would you do? 

FiTZHEW. I don't know — who is the girl? 

Farrar. Your sister-in-law. 

FiTZHEW. Sallie? 

Farrar. Yes, sir. I want your consent to pay 
my addresses to her — Mr. John Martin — Benjamin 
Fitzhew. 

FiTZHEW. You call me " yy " please, and be 
kind enough to tell me what your name is ? 

Farrar. Edward Farrar. 



■^2 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

FiTZHEW. Not the nephew of the District At- 
torney ? 

Farrar. (Pleased) Correct. 

FiTZHEW. Then you are the idiot who was going 
to fix this case of mine with that dizzy Uncle of 
yours? You have as much chance of winning my 
sister-in-law as a snowball in — well, you know the 
place. 

Farrar. (Rises) I tried to arrange everything 
— I did a" I I could. I left no stone unturned. 

FiTZHEW. You ought to see the pile I've cracked 
since then. 

Farrar. Then you refuse? 

FiTZHEW. Twice! 

Farrar. Then I will throw myself at her feet. 

FiTZHEW. I don't care where you throw your- 
self. 

Farrar. (Goes up-stage then crosses l. c.) I 
will plead with your wife. 

FiTZHEW. (Rises) Remember, if*you*see my 
wife I am in Mexico — you understand? 

Farrar. Oh, yes. 

FiTZHEW. Great country this, 'Mexico. Full of 
bananas and Mexicans. 

Farrar. How long are you going to^stay? 

FiTZHEW. I'm going to stay here 'until my<num- 
ber comes out — that's policy! 

(Exit Farrar l. 3 e. Btis. zvith decanter filling 
glass. Louis crosses, looks in window.) 

Louis. Sh, sh, sh ! (Gets azvay quick) 
FiTZHEW. (Bus. places glass on table, goes ta 
window) I see you, Cook. 

(Enter Louis d. in flat.) 

Louis. Sh, sh, sh, sh! 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 73 

FiTZHEW. What is it, a new game you're play- 
ing? 

Louis. I have a da plan to make de gran-da 
escape. 

FiTZHEW'. Escape — how are you going to do it? 

Louis. Now listen ! You see that large but — 
when you push that large but — and ring the big 
bell, Fll blow the whis — . When I blow the whis — 
you killa the warden. 

FiTZHEW. No! You kill the warden. 

(Louis bus. takes gun from pocket and hands it to 

FiTZHEW.) 

Louis. Take the gun — you killa the warden. I 
killa you. Now remember. When' you pusha de 
large button and ringa de big bell, Fll blowa de 
whistle, whena I blowa de whistle, you killa de 
warden. You know Pietro, eh? 

FiTZHEW. Yes. 

Louis. Well, he kill the keeper. 

FiTZHEW. What do you do? 

Louis. I make the grand »escape. (Exit Louis 

R. F.) 

FiTZHEW. (Soliloquising) Why don't he push 
the button and let me escape — he's a bad prisoner 
that 89. He'll rob this jail yet. I'll never push 
that button, never. (Crosses up r. c. Enter 
LovEALL L. 3 E. Bus. looking tn drazuer of side- 
board) What are you looking for? 

LovEALL. I've lost my revolver. (Bus. then 
goes to bellboard) 

FiTZHEW Don't ring that bell 

LovEALL. What's the mattei- with you? 

FiTZHEW. I am frightfully nervous this morn- 
ing 

LovEALL. I should say you were. (Looks 
around, then goes to desk. Bus. Fitzhew point' 
tng revolver at Loveall) 



;4 THE AIAN FROM MEXICO. 

Louis. (Back of window) Not yet — not yet. 
{Enter Cook l. 3 e.) 

LovEALL. Cook, I have lost my revolver! 

Cook. It must have been stolen by one of the 
prisoners. 

FiTZHEW. Why don't you lock your jai! up at 
night, then you won't lose 

LovEALL. Shut up! (To Cook. Enter l. 3) 
Search every prisoner, and the one you find with 
my revolver 

Cook. Well — ? {Crosses c.) 

LovEALL. Put them in a dungeon on bread and 
water for thirty days. 

Cook. I'll do it. (Fitzhew starts toivard door 
in flat) Here — where are you going! 

Fitzhew. I'll go and get a policeman — I'll find 
your revolver ! 

LovEALL. You stop right here ! Cook, do your 
duty. 

Cook. I'll start on this one first. {Crosses to 
Fitzhew) Throw up your hands ! 

LovEALL. Cook, never mind him — search the 
other prisoners first. I have business with this 
one. {Exit Cook c. in flat. Bus. with revolver. 
Fitzhew places revolver on piano) Well, I have 
seen her. 

Fitzhew. Who? 

LovEALL. Mrs. Fitzhew. 

Fitzhew. Where ? 

LovEALL. Here, in jail. 

Fitzhew. What is she in for? 

Loveall. No, no, she's here with the ladies of 
the Flower Mission. I gave her your letter — told 
her I met you in Mexico. That we were old 
friends. She's coming here to talk it over. (Mrs. 
Fitzhew crosses windozu back) Here she is now. 
(Crosses up) 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 75 

FiTZHEW, My wife here? She must not see 
me — hide me. {Enter Clementina r. e. Bus. 
FiTZHEW Jiidrs bc:k of Loveall as his zvife enters. 
He exits, slams door in flat) 

Clementina. "".Vb-at was that? 

Loveall. Oh, that's nothing — just the air 
through the corridor. 

Clementina. {Goes to sofa and sits) I have 
left the girls to distribute the rest of the flowers, 
Mr. Loveall. Now tell me of Ben. 

(FiTZHEW appears at back of zvindoiv.) 

Loveall. He is anxiously waiting the day he 
can return. 

FiTZHEW. And that's no lie. 

Clementina. ( Reading letter) " My dear 
friend Loveall v/ill deliver the message my pen re- 
fuses to write." 

Loveall. Oh, yes, he told me to call frequently, 
commissioned me to fill his place as far as possibl-^. 

FiTZHEv*'. Now, that's a friend worth having! 

Clementina. And you will, for his sake? 

Loveall. Will! {Crossing, kisses hand) With 
all my heart. 

FiTZHEW. {At back) He plays that part great! 

Clementina. I want you to tell me all about 
my husband. Sit down. 

FiTZHEW. {H^hcn Loveall is seated. At back) 
Stand up ! 

Loveall. {Bus. rising, going upstage) Sh! 
What are you doing here? 

FiTZHEW. Thirty days. 

Loveall. {Goes dozvn to Mrs. Fitzhew) 
There is very little to tell, except that he is well 
and happy. 

Clementina. Happy? 

Loveall. Happy in the thought that his term 
will soon expire. 



76 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

FiTZHEW. No — no — no — don't say anything 
about term. She thinks I am in Mexico. (Love- 
all goes to window and pulls shade up, then back 
to c. Enter Fitzhew d. in flat, goes to Loveall. 
Enter Cook d. in flat) Now remember. Don't say 
anything about term. 

Cook. Get out of here. 

Fitzhew. Don't bother me. 

Cook. Are you going to get out? 

Fitzhew. No. 

Cook. You're ncf 

Fitzhew. No. (Cook bus. striking Fitzhew 
zvith stuffed club) Certainly I was going — can't 
you take a joke? (Both exit D. in flat) 

Clementina. How lonesome he must be! 

Loveall. I wonder which one she belongs to, 

77 or 90. (Goes to Mrs. Fitzhew) Madam, will 
you tell me what kind of a looking man your hus- 
band is? 

Clementina. What ! 

Loveall. I mean was, when a boy. 

Clementina. I don't understand. 

Loveall. (Aloud) You see. Madam, he won 
you at that time and in filling his place I wish to be 
as much like him as possible. You understand? 
(Sits) 

(Enter Cook, Nettie, Sallie, Miranda d. in flat) 

Cook. This way, ladies! Now you have seen 
all the prisoners there is to be seen, except the gang 
working in the south wing, I'll fetch them in now. 
(Cook lets shade down) 

Fitzhew. (Back of door) Pull up that shade. 
(Cook pulls up shade and exits l. 3 e.) 

Sallie. Well, there isn't much here to suggest 
a prison. 

Loveall. (Rises and goes to ladies) I must 
confess, ladies, to an effort toward the artistic. I 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. . -j^ 

had never hoped that it might be illuminated by the 
beautiful. (Music cue. Aside) Why didn't 
they stay out a few minutes longer. {Goes back 
and sits with Clementina on sofa) 

(Enter Prisoners, lockstep, door d. 3 e. Bus. of 
ladies handing flozvers to prisoners. Prisoners 
exit L. 3 E.) 

Louis. You have no chewing tobacco. (Throws 
fiozvers away) 

Cook. This way, ladies. (Exit l. 3 e. Exit l. 
3 — ladies) 

Clementina. Anything more? 

LovEALL. Volumes could not express the senti- 
ments prompted b}' so charming a subject. 

Clementina. Did Mr. Fitzhew say that? 

LovEALL. Dare I hope that you will accept it 
from — in a word, I am a friend of Paquita's! 
(Rises, crosses c.) 

Clementina. Paquita's! 

Loveall. I saw at her house the portrait of the 
adorable woman that I had the misfortune not to 
know. 

Clementina. Do you suppose that interests 
me? 

Loveall. I was wrong. Madam, I realize it 
now — do you wish to deny her acquaintance, but I 
cannot forget that it was in her house I saw for 
the first time — that face. (Produces photograph- 
case. Clementina rises, takes photograph-case) 

Clementina. My photograph ! 

Loveall. Yes — you recognize it? 

Clementina. Where did you say you got this? 

Loveall. I borrowed it of Paquita. (up c.) 

Clementina. Paquita! I gave it to Benjamin 
and he has given it to Paquita. I see it all now — 
his nervousness, his haste to get away ! iVhere is 
Miss Paquita to be found? 



78 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Love ALL. In Mexico. 

Clementina. As I expected. (Crosses r. c.) 
My husband is also in Mexico; they are together 
at the Hotel Jardin. It is clear enough to me. 
{Starts to exit) 

LovEALL. Where are you going? 

Clementina. To send Mr. Fitzhew a telegram 
to the Hotel Jardin. (Exits d. in fiat) 

LovEALL. (Bus. letting dozvn shade) I flatter 
myself I worked that affair pretty well. 

(Enter Fitzhew l. u. e.) 

Fitzhew. Mr. Warden, did my wife say any- 
thing ? 

Majors. (Enters d. in flat) Fitzhew! 

LovEALL. Fitzhew! Will you explain this 
Fitzhew business? If you are Benjamin Fitzhew, 
who is the man who was arrested at 408 Gramercy 
Park? 

Fitzhew. Arrested where? 

LovEALL. 408 Gramercy Park, with his wife. 

Majors. What ? 

Fitzhew. That's where I live — ^408 Gramercy 
Park. 

LovEALL. No, no, no. 

Fitzhew. Yes, yes, yes — we have the whole 
house. 

Loveall. He was arrested at 408 Gramercy 
Park, with his wife. They found them in the 
room alone. 

Fitzhew. In the room alone? 

Majors. See here, a joke's a joke, but this is 
carrying it a little too far. Say, Will 

Fitzhew. Now, Billie 

Loveall. Shut up — there's the record. 

Fitzhew. Well, this man that was arrested at 
408 Gramercy Park — is he here? 

Loveall. Yes, he's here ; waiting to see a law- 
yer. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 79 

FiTZHEW. May I see him, please? 
LovEALL. If the lawyer is agreeabl e 

{Enter Farrar l. 3 e.) 

Farrar. See here, Loveall, do I see that client 
or not! 

Loveall, Certainly, you may see him at the 
same time. I'll leave you to enjoy yourselves while 
I look after the prisoners. {Exits r. 2 e.) 

FiTZHEW. Mr. Farrar, this client of yours, this 
man who calls himself Mr. Fitzhew, will you allow 
me to see him for a few minutes alone please? 

Farrar. Before I see him? 

FiTZHEW. Yes, he'll be easier for you when I 
get through with him. 

Farrar. All right, it's all in the family. {Exite 
L. 3 E.) 

FiTZHEW. Now, wait until he comes in. 

Majors. Have you any idea who he can be? 

FiTZHEW. No, but I will in a minute. Now, 
Majors, you have<always professed to bcimy friend, 
will you do me a favor? 

Majors. Certainly. 

FiTZHEW. Will you change clothes with me? 

Majors. Eh ? 

FiTZHEW. Just for a few minutes. 

Majors. All right. {Bus. starts to remove 
coat) 

FiTZHEW. Not here — just step in that room. 
(Majors exits arch r. 2) I want to have an inter- 
view with my wife's husband. {Exits a. r. 2. Enter 
Cook l. 3 e.) 

Cook. {Bus. picking up flotvers) I wish these 
women would keep away from here. The place 
looks clean until they come around with their darn 
bouquets. {Enter Schmidt r. u. e.) Now what 
are you doing here ? 

Schmidt. I'm doing sixty days, you know that 
very well. 



8o THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Cook. Now you go back to work on that rock 
pile. 

Schmidt. The warden sent me here. I have 
business here. 

Cook. What is your business ? 

Schmidt. My beesness is my beesness unt not 
your beesness. 

Cook. See here, you've got to behave yourself 
in this jail. 

Schmidt. Oh, you needn't brag about your old 
jail, I've been in better jails than this. 

Cook. Now don't you get funny. I'm going to 
keep an eye on you. I don't like your looks. 
{Crosses to d. in r, c.) 

Schmidt. I don't like my looks too. {Exit 
Cook d. in flat) Now when I see dis lawyer, I vill 
tell him — about that puddin' face vind bag who 
slap me in my face. (Crosses L. c. Enter 
Fitzhew, arch r., zmth Majors* coat, hat and 
pants on) You are de lawyer dat is going to take 
charge of my case? 

Fitzhew. Sit down — sit down. (Fitzhew 
pushes him into chair l. of table. Aside) He 
looks like a murderer. 

Schmidt. I am glad dat you are here already 
yet. {Rises) 

Fitzhew. Sit down will you? That thing with 
my wife. What is your name? 

Schmidt. My name is 

Fitzhew. {Rises) Now don't say it's Fitzhew, 
because it isn't. I won't stand that. 

Schmidt. No, dot's shust de point of de joke, 

Fitzhew. What joke? 

Schmidt. Dey will haf it dot I am Benjamin 
Fitzhew, because I was found in der room alone 
wit Mrs. Fitzhew — {Bus. Fitzhew drinks out of 
decanter. Schmidt rises) 

Fitzhew. Sit down ! So you were found alone 
in a room with Mrs. Fitzhew? 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 8i 

Schmidt. Sure! (Fitzhew strikes at him) 
There's no mistake, you are here to defend me? 
(Rises) 

Fitzhew. Yes. Sit down. I can get at you 
better. Now, if you wish me to defend you, you 
must tell me the truth — you are quite sure that you 
were found alone in a room at 408 Gramercy Park 
— you have the number right — four hundred and — 

Schmidt. Eight. 

Fitzhew. With Mrs. Benjamin Fitzhew? 

Schmidt. Sure. 

Fitzhew. Sure. • (Bus. choking Schmidt) 
You said sure, didn't you? 

Schmidt. (Rises) Sure I said sure. There's 
something in this lawyer's manner that loses me 
my confidence in him. You are here to defend 
me? 

Fitzhew. Yes, sit down. 

Schmidt. Then I vill tell you my case. Dot is 
de best joke on that puddin' face Fitzhew that you 
ever heard. I vonder what he would do, if he 
knew it. (Fitzhew hits Schmidt with cigar-box 
and Schmidt falls. Gets up — Bits. Fitzhew 
and Schmidt do lockstep) I don't think that he 
is such a good lawyer. What do you think of my 
case? 

Fitzhew. Why, you haven't a chance in the 
world. I don't think you will ever get out of here. 
Yes ! There is one hope left for you. Escape ! 

Schmidt. How? 

Fitzhew. ( Bus. gets revolver from piano) 
Sh! (Bus. zvith revolver. Gives it to Schmidt) 
When you hear a whistle blow — take this and kill 
the warden. (Loveall enters r. 2 e.) Mr. 
Warden, look out for No. 90 — he's dangerous. 

Loveall. Dangerous — what do you mean? 

(Fitzhew goes to hell and rings it. Whistle blozvs 
outside, Schmidt fires revolver. Fitzhew 



82 THE IsIAN FROM MEXICO. 

catching his hand, fakes revolver from him, 
throws him dozvn and gives revolver to Love- 
all. Majors enters r. 2 e. goes centre, hears 
report of gun, starts to exit. Cook enters, 
stops ]\Iajors. Louis hack of window blow- 
ing zvJiistle. Convicts running — cross stage 
back of ivindow.) 

CURTAIN. 

(Second Curtain: Fitzhew kicks Schmidt. 
Cook strikes Majors with club,) 

ACT III. 

Scene : — Same as Act I zvith Mexican decorations 
ad lib. Piano obliqued l. 2nd. Photograph 
case on piano. 

DISCOVERED :— Miranda at rise. Draping 
sofa l. c. 

Miranda. There, I hope that will suit her. 
Here we had to arrange all these Mexican decora- 
tions just in honor of Mr. Fitzhew's return. Un- 
less I am very much mistaken, I saw him. in 
prison the day I was there with the ladies of the 
Flower Mission. I haven't said anything about it 
because if it was Mr. Fitzhew he'll pay me more 
for keeping still than his wife would for telling. 
That's why they say " Silence is golden," I guess. 
{Placing scarfs on chairs) 

(Enter Sallie and Nettie, c.) 

Sallie. Aren't you nearly finished? (Crosses 
R. c. Nettie l. c.) 

Miranda. {Crosses to c. d.) Yes, all but a 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 83 

few flags in the dining-room. How do you like it? 

Sallie and Nettie. Oh! very pretty. 

Miranda. I'll arrange the flags in the dining- 
room. (Exits c. D. R.) 

Nettie. I think it was real mean of you not to 
tell me. I could have had a Mexican costume just 
as well as not — Pop hasn't refused me anything 
since Mr. Fitzhew went to Mexico. 

Sallie. I am so glad Ben is coming home to- 
night. 

Nettie. How long is it since he left? (Sits on 
sofa L. c.) 

Sallie. (Crosses r. of sofa l. c.) Thirty days. 
And we have only received one letter in all that 
time. 

Nettie. And he said nothing about your en- 
gagement ? 

Sallie. That's what I can't understand — he 
knows I love Richard and that Richard loves me — 
and just because he took it in his head that he'd 
like to take a trip to Mexico he broke off the en- 
gagement without rhyme or reason. 

Nettie. What does Richard say about it? 

Sallie. He knows no more about it than I do. 
Benjamin sent for him the night it was to be 
publicly announced and told him our marriage was 
impossible. 

Nettie. If I were going to be married, I'd 
like to see any brother-in-law interfere with me. 
(Rises) 

Sallie. You may have a chance. 

Nettie. What do you mean? (Crosses to c.) 

Sallie. 1 saw Mr. Farrar turning the music for 
you the other night and there was more than a 
" friendship " look in his eyes. 

Nettie. I wish I had known it. I'd have helped 
him along. 

Sallie. You would? 

Nettie. Why, certainly, you can't expect the 



84 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

man to do it all. If he shows in any way that he's 
interested, pin a flower on his coat — ask him to 
call again — if he mentions the weather, just take 
him over to the piano and sing " You and I to- 
gether, Love," if you want to win him. It may not 
be exactly womanly but it's business. 

(Enter Clementina l, crosses dozvn r. c.) 

Clementina. How do you like it, girls? 

Sallie. Beautiful. 

Nettie. Lovely. 

Clementina. And the decoration — isn't it 
splendid. 

Nettie. Yes, it's lovely. 

Clementina. Girls, I want this reception to 
be a great success. Benjamin will appreciate it I'm 
sure. It will remind him so much of Mexico. 
Nettie, your father will be here to-night. 

Nettie. Oh, yes, later — he stopped in at the 
club 'for a moment. 

Clementina. (Goes to c. d., calling) Miranda. 
(Enter Miranda, c. d. r.) Miranda, when the man 
from the caterer arrives with the supper, send him 
to me at once. (l. c.) 

Miranda. Yes,. ma'am. (Exit Miranda c. D. l.) 

Clementina. Girls I have ordered a tamale sup- 
per from the Spanish caterer. 

Nettie. A tamale supper? (Crosses to c.) 

Clementina. Yes. 

Nettie. Why ? 

Clementina. So Benjamin won't have a sud- 
den change in his diet. 

Nettie. You've made great preparations for 
his return? 

Clementina. Yes, but there are a lot of Mexi- 
can things here of which I know nothing, but Ben 
will be able to explain them all to me when he 
comes home. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 85 

Nettie. I am sure he will. 

Sallie. I wonder if he will have learned any of 
the Spanish language. {Exits r. i e.) 

Majors. (Outside) Very well; I'll fix that all 
right. (Enter Majors c. door) 

Nettie. (Crosses up r. c.) Here's Pop, now. 

Majors. Always on time — never was late in my 
life. I made it a rule when a schoolboy to be 
prompt and punctual and always willing to aid a 
friend in trouble and I have never broken it. 

Clementina. A good rule, Mr. Majors, and 
one that will gain you the goodwill of everyone. 

Majors. One would suppose it would but some- 
how or other I have never been properly appre- 
ciated, especially by those I seem to help most. 

Nettie. I'm sure Mr. Fitzhew always 

Majors. Fitzhew is one of the most unappre- 
ciative of the lot, but for me he'd have been right 
here in New York all this time and never have 
enoyed this beautiful trip to Mexico. 

(Enter Loveall c. door.) 

Loveall. (Looking about) Lovely — lovely — 
Mrs. Fitzhew, allow me to compliment you on your 
dress and artistic taste in decorating. I am sure 
your husband will appreciate your thought fulness. 
(Crosses L.) 

CLi-Ci-.rxiNA. No more than a wife should do 
when h' ' • husband has been away for thirty days. 

MaJi.s. I told him all about it — that is — I 
wrote him while he was in Mexico that you missed 
him and longed for his return. Don't you see.? 
(Aside) I am the greatest diplomat ever! 
(Crosses r.) 

Nettie. What time will he arrive? 

Loveall. He should be here now. 

Clementina. (Crosses to r.) Mr. Majors, 
there is one thing I do not understand. Why Ben 



86 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

failed to answer my telegram sent to the Hotel 
Jardin on the 22nd. 

Majors. {Crosses to r.) Why, because he was 
not there. 

LovEALL. Yes, he was. {Bus. trying to attract 
Majors' attention) 

Majors. Was he, oh! the Hotel Jardin — yes, 
yes, oh, he'll be able to explain all that when he 
comes home. {Aside) Something wrong here — 
I'll have to fix this thing up. 

{Enter Miranda c. door.) 

Miranda. Mr. Fitzhew's here! {Music cue) 

All. Where ? 

Miranda. He's downstairs — paying the taxi. 

Majors. I hope he don't have a row with this 
one. 

Miranda. He's coming upstairs and will be 
here in a minute. Here he is — here he is. {Exits 
C. D. R. FiTZHEW enters c. d. l.) 

Clementina. {Goes to him and kisses him) 
Benjamin ! 

FiTZHEw. Buenos Dias Amar. 

Clementina. V Habla espanol. 

FiTZHEW. What? {Crosses l. c.) 

Clementina. V Habla Espanol. 

FiTZHEW. {Bus. looking in book) Rouse mid 
'em. 

LovEALL. Nix — nix — that's Dutch. 

FiTZHEW. Then the answer's wrong in the 
book — oh, yes — I was on the wrong page — here it 
is. Buenos Dias Callebro. 

LovEALL. Esta Escelentta. 

FiTZHEW. In a minute. {Aside) I've got 
Loveall with me. {Crosses to table) I don't need 
that book. {Lays book on table) 

(lyOVEALL crosses back and joins Nettie. Majors 
Crosses back of table and gets book.) 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 87 

Nettie. Did you have any Chili con carnie 
while you were away? 

FiTZHEW. Oh, yes, a tin cupful every morning. 

(Nettie joins Clementina r. c. Enter Sallie 
R. 3 — comes to Fitzhew.) 

Sallie. (Crosses) Brother Ben. (Bus. kisses 
Fitzhew) 

Majors. (Crosses) I say Fitz — ^Aqua Jailero — 

Fitzhew. Yeso for a montho — ^will you shut 
upo. 

Loveall. Mr, Fitzhew will tell you all about 
them, won't you? 

Fitzhew. About what? 

Loveall. The ladies want to hear about the Bull 
Fight. 

Fitzhew. What bull fight? 

Clementina. The Bull Fight you spoke of in 
your letter. 

Fitzhew. Oh, that one. 

Loveall. Yes. Tell them about the Bull Fight. 

Fitzhew. Bull Fight? 

Loveall. The one we saw. 

Fitzhew. Oh, I saw a dog fight — perhaps they 
would rather hear 

Loveall. No, no ; tell them about the Bull Fight. 

Fitzhew. Well, this was a bull dog. 

Clementina. Ben, please tell us about the Bull 
Fight ? 

Majors. Fitz, tell us all about the matadors and 
pickadors ? 

Fitzhew. Yes, and the iron doors. I could tell 
you more about them. 

All. Please tell us about the Bull Fight. (Ad 
lib.) 

Majors. Come on, give us a description of the 
Bull Fight. 



88 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

FiTZHEw. (To Majors) Keep quiet — you know 
I never saw a bull fight in my life. 

(General ad lib.) 
All. Go on — go on- 



FiTZHEw. Well — the Bull Fight I saw — there 
was a large stone arena and a lot of men keeping 
time to the music — then there was a trumpet call 
and in comes the pickadors ; then there's another 
trumpet call and out gallops the cow 

All. What! 

FiTZHEW. I mean the bull. The pickadors step 
to one side and as the bull passes, he stabs him 
with his mashaza ; this naturally hurts the Bull's 
feelings and he tries to renig; but there's another 
pickador — the first pickador's brother hands him 
a larger and sharper mashaza. 

Clementina. A what, Ben? 

FiTZHEW. A mashaza and he 

Clementina. Well, what's a mashaza? 

FiTZHEW. What's a mashaza — now what do you 
think of that — as if anybody didn't know what a 
mashaza was — A mashaza is a Spanish hi-hi-ya. 

Clementina. A hi-hi-ya — what's that? 

FiTZHEW, Why, that's a mashaza — the second 
pickador is over here and as the bull crosses, he 
turns and sees Cook — (Majors bus., coughs) That 
is, he goes to his corner — out comes the matador — 

All. Ah ! 

FiTZHEW. He bows, kisses his hand to the 
ladies, turns, sees the bull and shakes hands with 
him. 

All. What's that ? 

FiTZHEW. Shakes his hands at the bull, that's 
to make him saucy so he'll fight — the matador 
stands squarely in front of the bull — the bull sees 
him, he snorts, his eyes flash fire, everybody is crazy 
by this time. 

All. Yes. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 89 

FiTZHEW. The matador had aimed at the bull's 
eye — I mean his heart. Everybody stands up in 
the seats and yells viva San Diego, viva. 

All. Yes, yes. 

FiTZHEW. The bull rushes over to him. 

All. Yes. 

FiTZHEW. Then rushes back and sits down and 
says he won't fight any more — because it's a holi- 
day. 

Sallie. Were there many people at the Bull 
Fight ? 

FiTZHEW. Packed^ — they were all in tiers — I 
was in the first tier — wasn't I, Loveall? 

Loveall. That's right. 

Clementina. (Crosses to Fitzhew) There's 
one thing I couldn't understand, Benjamin — in 
your letter — you wrote that you heard Patti sing 
in Mexico. 

Fitzhew. Yes — at the Bull Fight — she sang 
beautifully. 

Clementina. Why, she was singing in Chicago 
that week. 

Fitzhew. I know she was. 

Clementina. Then how could you hear her? 

Fitzhew. Well, I did. 

Clementina. I don't see how. 

Fitzhew. Now, I'm not going to tell you just 
to make you mad. (Bus. turns to Majors) Get 
me out of this. (To Majors) 

Clementina. Ben, I insist upon 

Majors. (To Clementina) One moment, 
please. Ben, did you see the Mexico dances ? 

Fitzhew. Oh, yes. I saw them and learned all 
the dances — (Aside) That's the brightest thing 
he's said yet. 

Clementina. So have I. You shall dance one 
with me. 

Fitzhew. (To Majors) Now, what did you 



90 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

bring that dance business up for? You know I 
can't dance a step, don't you? 

Clementina. You will, won't you, Ben? 

FiTZHEW. Some other time — wait until I have 
eaten something — I'm hungry. 

Clementina. Come on, Ben — I'm sure they 
will all enjoy it. 

All. Of course — ^}'es, indeed, we will. {Ad lib.) 

Clementina. You will, won't you? 

FiTZHEW. All right — I'll join in the chorus. 

{Music cue. Dance. Exit Clementina and 

FiTZHEW 3 E.) 

Majors. (To Loveall) Loveall, my boy. I 
flatter myself I've fixed this thing up in great shape. 
Suppose we adjourn. (Points r. i e.) And drink 
to the success of my plans. 

Loveall. If the ladies will excuse me. 

{They nod.) 

Majors. There is one thing that bothers me — 
that telegram Mrs. Fitzhew sent on the 22nd ; but 
I'll fix that. Now if you ever get in trouble you 
come to me and I'll get you out all right. {Exit 
Majors and Loveall r. i e.) 

Sallie. Doesn't Ben look well after his trip. 

Nettie. I don't think so — but what a beautiful 
costume he has on, a perfect match for Clementina's. 

{Enter Daunton c. door.) 

Daunton. Has he arrived? {Crosses dozvn l. 
c.) 

Sallie. Yes. (Crosses *n c.) 

Daunton. I want to see him at once — I'm going 
to compel him to give me the true reason for having 
broken our engagement. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 91 

Nettie. I know why he did it, (r. c.) 
Daunton and Sallie. Why? {Crosses r. c.) 
Nettie. {Crosses l. c.) Because you were 
foolish enough to let him. 

Daunton. I couldn't help it. I was already 
anxiously awaiting the hour of the reception at 
which our engagement was to be formally an- 
nounced when Fitzhew sent for me and told me 
there would be no reception, that the whole affair 
was off. Before I could recover he left for Mexico 
— I was obliged to wait his return and now that he 
is here I mean to settle it and at once. {Crosses to 
L. and up) 

{Enter Farrar c. l. door.) 

Farrar. Ladies, has Mr. Fitzhew returned? 

Sallie. Some time ago. {Crosses l. c.) Mr. 
Farrar, my brother-in-law thinks very highly of 
you. 

Farrar. {Aside) Here's where I do Daunton. 

Sallie. I want you to ask him to give his con- 
sent to our engagement. 

Farrar. That's just what brings me here. 

Sallie. Tell him we have loved ea'ch other a 
long time and are mutually satisfied that we can be 
happy for life. 

Nettie. {Sits) He's in good humor to-night — 
he'll surely not refuse. 

Farrar. (To Sallie) I'll go at once. {Crosses 
upstage. Starts) 

Sallie. {Follows him) Tell him Richard and 
I will await his answer here. 

Farrar. {In c. arch) Richard and you! 

Daunton. Yes ; and if you obtain his consent 
you will do me a lasting service. {Starts up-stage) 

Nettie. Yes, Mr. Farrar, they could never live 
apart. 

Saddie. We have been friends since childhood, 



•92 TffE MAN FROM M"EXrcO. 

tx) be separated now would kill us both, I know it 
(Exits L. 3 E. rvith Daunton) 

Farrar (Aside) Well, I'll be — that settles me. 
(Goes to Nettie who is seated on sofa) Aren't 
^hey happy? 

Nettie. What a lucky girl she is. 

Farrar. Because she's in love? 

Nettie. Partly that; but more so because she 
's loved. 

Farrar. (Sits on sofa) Move up — surely you 
should find no trouble in 

Nettie. Mr. Farrar, have you ever thought 
seriously of matrimony ? 

Farrar. Very — for a long time. 

Nettie. Are you thinking still? 

Farrar. (Aside) By Jove, I will. (Aloud) 
Miss Majors — ^have I in any way pleased you? 

Nettie. You're young, good looking, prospects 
and all that — what more could a woman want? 

Farrar. But would your father consent? 

Nettie. Who's doing this, he or T? 

Farrar. Still I'd rather have his consent. 

Nettie. All right — have your own way. (Both 
rise from sofa. Enter Sallie and Daunton) I'll 
see Pop and be back with his consent in two minutes. 
(To Sallie) Sallie, come with me and I'll show 
you how preliminary details are arranged in the 
Majors' family. 

Sallie. What do you mean ? 

Nettie. He said, " Will you," I said, " Ah, ha." 

Sallie. And you are going to ask your father? 

Nettie. No, I am going to tell my father. (Exit 
Sallie and Nettie r. 3 e.) 

Daunton. (Goes to Farrar) Allow me to 
congratulate you, Mr. Farrar. 

Farrar. Thank you. 

Daunton. Why, I considered you a rival all 
the time. 

Farrar. No, I only did that to make you jealous. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 93 

{Enter Fitzhew and Clementina door c. l.) 

FiTZHEW. Ah — Vive lack apaultepec. 

Farrar and Daunton. Welcome home, Mr. 
Fitzhew. {Shakes hands on each side) 

Fitzhew. Don't say Mr. — say sig-nor. 

Farbiar and Daunton. Signor Fitzhew. 

Fitzhew. It fits me all but this shawl — I can't 
keep this up — would you mind retiring for a few 
minutes. 

Clementina. Ben, I want you to tell me all 
about your trip. You will pardon my impatience, 
I know, but my husband has been absent so long. 

(Farrar laughs and walks up c.) 

Fitzhew. (Crosses l.) Yes, boys; so long. 
(Daunton and Farrar laugh and go tip c.) Now, 
what are you two laughing at — this may seem very 
funny to you. I don't see anything funny in it. 

Daunton. Mr. Fitzhew, where did you get your 
costume ? 

Fitzhew. Over on Second Avenue. (To 
Clementina) You should see that Second Avenue 
in Mexico. You must go with me the next time. 
{To Daunton and Farrar) Will you get out of 
here, please? 

Daunton. Did you enjoy the long Mexican 
walks while away? 

Fitzhew. Yes, through the corridors. 

Clementina. Corridors, Ben. 

Fitzhew. The Mexican corridors. Will you 
get out of here. (Crosses up to them) 

Daunton and Farrar. Adieu, adios, adios, 
Signor Fitzhew. (Laugh at each other, lockstep 
and exit c. d. r.) 

Clementina. (Crosses l. c.) Now, Ben, tell 



94 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

me about your trip. Mexico must be a very in- 
teresting place. 

FiTZHEW. (Sits) I knew that was coming. 
(Crosses down r. c.) 

Clementina. {Sits, sofa) In your letter you 
said you went for a row. 

FiTZHEW. On the river. 

Clementina. What river was it? 

FiTZHEW. The Amazon. 

Clementina. Why, I wasn't aware that the 
Amazon flowed through the City of Mexico. 

FiTZHEW. Who said it did — this one was named 
after the other — they haven't had it long. 

Clementina. I don't understand. 

FiTZHEW. That's a little Mexican joke, my dear. 
It's a short river — they haven't had it long — see. 

Clementina. TeH me, Ben, did you see the 
Alameda ? 

FiTZHEW. Did T — I tried to catch one for a toy 
for the house. Oh, yes, they are very lovely — - 
skipping about, from tree to tree, and the female 
alamedas are more so. {Aside) I wonder if they 
are alive. 

Clemefttina. I don't believe you saw it 

FiTZHEW. Well, it was a bad day — it was snow- 
ing 

Clementina. I mean the grand park — ^the 
Alameda. 

FiTZHEW. Oh, you mean the Alameda — Clem- 
mie, I'm surprised at you. You must brush up on 
your Spanish, I thought you said the Alamedines, 
that's Mexican for chip-monks. 

Clementina. {Rises, crosses to l. c. At piano, 
sees pictures) By the way, Ben, whatever became 
of the photograph case of mine you used to prize 
so highly? 

FiTZHEW. I lost it. 

Clementina. Lost it — your friend Loveall re- 
turned it to me — there it is. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 95 

FiTZHEW. Loveall — where did he get it? 

Clementina. He got it from a Spanish lady- 
named Paquita. 

FiTZHEw. Now, I knew that there was some- 
thing I wanted to tell you. Well, I called at the 
house and, of course, I showed them the portrait of 
my darling wife — that's why I went all the way up 
there. I must have left it on the table. 

Clementina. Where was this? 

FiTZHEW. In Mexico, Mexico, at the Hotel 
Jardin on the 22nd. 

Clementina. And you were there on the 22nd. 

FiTZHEW. Why, certainly, I was; ask Loveall? 

Clementina. Then, why didn't you answer my 
telegram sent the 22nd, to the Hotel Jardin? 

FiTZHEW. What did you say? 

Clementina. Why didn't you answer my tele- 
gram? 

FiTZHEW. Telegram ! 

Clementina. Yes, telegram. 

FiTZHEW. (Rises, crosses c.) Because 

(Ad lib. Spanish.) 

Clementina. You tell me in English. 

FiTZHEW. It's just the same in English. 

Clementina. I don't understand your Spanish. 

FiTZHEW. You understand it as well as I do. 

Clementina. Tell me why you did not answer 
my telegram. 

FiTZHEW. Oemmy, I don't like to betray 
secrets ; but this Paquita is Loveall's sweetheart 
and when he introduced her to me she tried to flirt 
with me — but T was " still thinking of you," so I 
packed my things and left that hotel on the 21st. 

Clementina. Ben, I am so glad you told me 
the truth of this. 

FiTZHEW. I'm glad it's over, myself, dear. 



96 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Clementina. I'll confess I was a little bi*^ 
jealous. 

FiTZHEW. Of your little bronco? 

Clementina. Yes, I was; for I know Paquita 
was there; but you were not there on the 22nd, 
were you? 

FiTZHEW. I solemnly swear that I was not at 
the Hotel Jardin on the 22nd. 

Clementina. And you'll never go to Mexico 
again ? 

FiTZHEW. Not unless they take me in a wagon 
with a bell on it. 

Clementina. You'll stay home with me, always, 
won't you, Ben? 

FiTZHEW. Yes — always — Clemmy, there's noth- 
ing in Mexico. No matter what they tell you, you 
believe me — I found Mexico nothing but a cell. 
(Clementina starts up-stage) Where are you 
going, dear? 

Clementina. I'm going to find Mr. Majors and 
tell him that you were not at the Hotel Jardin on 
the 22nd. (Exits l. 3 e.) 

Fitzhew. That's right — and I'll find him first 
and put him on. (Starts r. 2. Enter Miranda r. 3 
E. Bus. Miranda trying to pass Fitzhew) What 
is this, a waltz or a two step ? 

Miranda. Mr. Fitzhew, didn't I see you in jail 
the other day? 

Fitzhew. Sh ! Keep quiet — you know you did. 

Miranda. You needn't be afraid, I haven't said 
anything to your wife. Mr. Fitzhew, what were you 
doing in jail? 

Fitzhew. Why, the simplest thing in the world 
— I thought everybody knew that. You. remember 
when I left here how sick I was, stricken down with 
fever — I told everybody that I was going to Mexico 
for my health, but the doctor that I wanted to see 
was in the jail hospital and I had to go there — you 
understand ? 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 97 

Miranda. Yes. 

FiTZHEW. Yes, she don't. 

Miranda. You had the fever the day you was 
taken away — I remember the towel around your 
head — the pitchers of ice water and the mysterious 
Doctor in the house. 

FiTZHEW. Yes, Dr. Cook. (Lockstep) 

Miranda. Is it all over now? 

FiTZHEW. Yes, my time was up at nine o'clock 
this morning. 

Miranda. What ? 

FiTZHEW. That is, the fever runs thirty days. 

Miranda. Was the attendance good at the 
hospital ? 

FiTZHEW. Very — I was constantly watched, and 
Miranda, as you have been good enough to keep 
my secret, keep this. (Gives coin) 

Miranda. Thank you — why — what is this? 

FiTZHEW. That's a Mexican coin I brought you. 

Miranda. A Mexican coin? 

FiTZHEW. It's a Mexican flemph. 

Miranda. A what ? 

FiTZHEW. A Mexican flemph — it's in the book. 
(Exit Miranda r. i e.) If she tries to spend that 
they'll put her in " 77 " where I was. (Enter Net- 
tie R. 3 E. Sits at piano) I'm getting sick of this 
tamale business. Mexican flags, symbolic of my 
trip — if my wife 

(Nettie plays piano, few bars of convict music. 
Exit FiTZHEW R. 2 e. Bus. lockstep.) 

Nettie. I couldn't find Pop anywhere — I don't 
see where his consent comes in anyway. 

(Enter Majors c. i e.) 

Majors. My plans are working beautifully — 



98 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

now to get Farrar and Daunton to aid me and Fitz 
will owe me life-long gratitude. {Crosses to l. c.) 

Nettie. Say, Pop, I want to speak to you — 
important busmess. {Crosses to Majors l.) 

Majors. What is it about, my dear? 

Nettie. I don't want to run any chance of being 
an old maid, so I told Mr. Farrar he could hope. 

Majors. Engaged ? 

Nettie. Yes. 

Majors. Be careful, Nettie, matrimony is a very 
serious step. 

Nettie. I know it, Pop, but other girls have 
done it and I want to prove that I'm game too.. 

Majors. (Aside) She's Just like her mother. 
(Aloud) Nettie, dear, you have my consent and if 
everything doesn't run smoothly, you just come to 
Daddy and I'll fix it for you. 

Nettie. Thank you, Pop. 

(Enter Miranda r. i e.) 

Miranda. I'd like to find out more about this 
Mexican trip. (To Majors) Mr. Majors — Mr. 
Fitzhew's wasn't very well when he started for 
Mexico, was he? 

Majors. Well, as far as I — (Aside) I wonder 
how much this girl knows, (Crosses to h. Aloud to 
Nettie) Nettie, hadn't you better run along and 
find that future husband of yours? 

Nettie. No, let him come to me. 

Majors. That's so — I never thought of that. 

Miranda. (Up r. c.) See here, Mr. Majors, 
you needn't think you're fooling me — I know where 
Mr. Fitzhew was. 

Majors. (Crosses to her) Hush, for Heaven's 
sake, he's been in jail. 

Miranda and Nettie. Jail ! 

Majors. (To Miranda) There — now you've 
done it, (To Nettie) I meant the jail hospital — 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 99 

now you keep quiet about this. He's been to 
Mexico as far as we know — and the less you know 
the more you get. You know. {Gives money) 

Miranda. Yes, I know. {Exits c. d. l.) 

Nettie. Say, Pop, what does this mean? 

Majors. Now, Nettie dear, don't you ask any 
questions. Mr. Fitzhew's entire future is at stake 
unless he could convince his wife that he has been 
in Mexico. 

Nettie. But he has been there? 

Majors. Has he? 

Nettie. Certainly. 

Majors. Of course we know he was there, but 
his wife — she might not believe it. 

Nettie. Say, Pop, I'll help you — if you tell Mr. 
Farrar it's all right. 

Majors. I'll tell Mr. Farrar anything. You just 
consider yourself married and settled down. 

Nettie. Thank you, Pop. {Exit Nettie l. 3 e.) 

Majors. {Up r. c.) Fitz will never know how 
much he owes to my diplomacy. 

{Enter Farrar c. d. l.) 

Farrar. {Aside) Her father — I wonder if she 
has seen him. {Aloud) Mr. Majors, have you 
seen your daughter? 

Majors. You are my son. 

Farrar. Good. {Shakes hands) 

Majors. On one condition, I am beginning to 
distrust Loveall — he may give the whole thing 
away. Now you took a trip to Mexico a few weeks 
ago. 

Farrar. Did I? 

Majors. Yes, you did I — ^and met Fitz there. 
Don't you see — I'm doing this to aid my old friend 
Fitz. You saw him there. 

Farrar. I understand — when? 



lOO THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Majors. Um-m — the 22nd. 

Farrar. Where ? 

Majors. Hotel Jardin — City of Mexico. 

Farrar. I saw Fitzhew at the Hotel Jardin, 
City of Mexico on the 22nd. 

Majors. Right. 

Farrar. I know your propensity for aiding your 
friends and being one of the family I want to be as 
much like you as I possibly can. {Exits l. 3 e. 
door) 

Majors. (Crosses down 2) I'm proud of that 
boy. 

(Enter Daunton c. d. l.) 

Daunton. Hello, Majors. (Crosses r. c.) 

Majors. Daunton, you're the very man I want. 
There's a doubt of Fitz being able to prove that he 
was in Mexico— I want you to say you saw him 
there. 

Daunton. I can't. I've been here most every 
day. 

Majors. That's a mere matter of detail. Can't 
you say that you have a letter from him postmarked 
Hotel Jardin, City of Mexico dated on the 22nd? 

Daunton. Yes, I can, but I won't. 

Majors. Oh, my boy ; he needs me more now 
than ever. 

Daunton. (Crosses c.) I'll do it for you, 
Majors, but not for him. He has treated me with 
contempt and I see no reason why I should aid 
him. 

Majors. He was hasty, my boy — he told me 
all about it — you do this and rely on my assertion 
that he will apologize and give his consent to your 
marriage. 

(Enter Sallie r. i e.) 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. loi 

Sallie. Have you seen Ben? (r. c.) 

Daunton. No — but Mr. Majors assures me your 
brother acknowledged his error and will give his 
consent to our marriage. 

Sallie. Are you sure? 

Majors. Did I ever break my word? Have I 
ever failed to help my friends in trouble? 

Sallie. No. 

Daunton. Very well. Mr. Majors, you depend 
on us and we'll depend on you. {Exit Sallie and 
Daunton l. 3 e.) 

Majors, (l.) Now I'll force Fitz to acknowl- 
edge the value of my friendship. 

(Enter Loveall r. i.) 

LovEALL. Well, Majors, it's all up. 

Majors. What do you mean? 

Love ALL. I have just received word that the 
commissioners at their last meeting came to the con- 
clusion that I was too artistic for a warden so they 
have appointed Deputy Sherifif Cook in my place. 

Majors. I knew you'd get fired some day. 

LovEALL. I never was more pleased in my life. 
I fully believe in the punishment of crime but there 
are other walks in life for me than carrying out the 
sentence of the law. {Crosses r.) 

{Enter Miranda c. d. l.) 

Miranda. Doctor Cook. 

(Cook enters l. c. door.) 

Cook. Beg pardon, sir, but I come to tell you 
I've just been notified of my appointment, and I 
wanted you to believe I had nothing to do with it, 
Mr. Loveall. (r. c.) 

Love ALL. Certainly not. (r.) 



I02 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Cook. {Crosses l, c.) Hello, Mr. Majors, 
how's your Old friend? 

Majors, (l.) Fitz? 

Cook. Yes. 

Majors. He's just returned from his beautiful 
trip to Mexico. 

(All laugh. Enter Fitzhew r. 2 e.) 

FiTZHEW. (Aside) Cook — I'm pinched again. 
{Starts to exit) 

Cook. Hello " 77." 

Fitzhew. You don't want me to go again, do 
you? 

LovEALL, No, Mr. Cook came to tell me he's 
been appointed in my place. 

Fitzhew. Oh, your time is up too, eh? {To 
Cook) Take that hat off. {Goes to table and sits 
L. of table R. c.) 

Cook. {To c.) Stand up! 

{Enter Clementina l. 3 e. door, down to l. of 
Cook.) 

Fitzhew. Clemmie, you know Mr. Cook, (/n- 
trodticing) 

(Majors crosses up to r. c. at back.) 

Clementina. Oh, I remember, you were here 
last month. 

Cook. Yes, I came to arrest 

Fitzher- Majo ''^ : don't you remember — he 
came to arrest Majors r.nd I got him out. {To 
Loveall) Get Lim out of here. {Crosses to 
piano) 

Loveall. If you will allow me — Warden, I'll 
take the liberty of ofifering you a drink of Mr. 
Fitzhew's old private stock and drink to your new 
position. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 103 

Clementina. You'll stay and join us in our re- 
iKiion supper in honor of my husband's return. 

Cook. 'Course I will, ma'am. Your husband's 
the best prisoner 

(FiTZHEW bangs on piano — Majors and Loveall 
drag Cook off r. 3 e. ad lib. Fitzhew crosses 
to c.) 

Clementina. {Crosses 2) Prisoner? Ben- 
jamin, did you hear him? 

Fitzhew. What ? 

Clementina. Did you hear Mr. Cook say that 
my husband was a prisoner? 

Fitzhew. He thinks you're Majors' wife. I'll 
go and tell him you're my wife. I want you to 
know this Cook — he's a nice fellow. Oh, Cook, 
Cook. {Exit Fitzhew c. to r.) 

{Enter Miranda c. d. l.) 

Miranda. Mrs. Fitzhew, the man is in the hall 
complaining about the supper. 

Clementina. Send him up to me. 

{Enter Louis c. l. door.) 

Miranda. Here he is. {Exit Miranda c. d. r.) 
Louis. I came to make the large tamale sup. 
Clementina. The waiter who saw me at the 
Cleopatra ! 

{Enter Fitzhew r. 3 e.) 

Louis. (5"^^^ Fitzhew) "77." 

Fitzhew. " 89 " get out of here. {Exit Louis 
c, D. l.) Where did you get that man? 

Clementina. The caterer sent him to serve the 
supper. 



I04 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

FiTZHEW. Get rid of him, he's an anarchist. 

Clementina. Do you know him? 

FiTZHEW. Why, certainly, I know him — " When 
I blow the whistle, you killa the ward " 

Clementina. Where did you meet him? 

FiTZHEW. He had the next cell to mine. 

Clementina. Cell? 

FiTZHEW. That is, he was arrested 

Clementina. Arrested? 

FiTZHEW. The same day that Majors was 

Clementina. What do you mean? 

FiTZHEW. I don't know what I mean. 

Clementina. Benjamin, we'll never mention 
him again. 

FiTZHEW. You can bet I never will. {Exits 

R. 2 E.) 

{Enter Majors r. i e.) 

Majors. It's all right, Mrs.,Fitzhew, Mr. Cook 
said he'd remain to dinner. Well, Ben has returned 
— how glad you must be to see him. 

Clementina. Indeed I am. 

Majors. He's been away a long time, but this 
Mexican trip has done him a world of good — he 
haslenoyed it immensely. 

Clementina. Yes, but he was not at the Hotel 
Jardin on the 22nd. 

Majors. Oh, yes, he was. 

Clementina. But I know that he was not. 

Majors. I beg your pardon, Mrs. Fitzhew, I 
know he was. 

{Enter Daunton and Sallie, l. 3 e. Enter 
Fitzhew r. 2 e.) 

Majors. She has discovered all. Poor Fitz ! I'll 
save him yet. Fitz, my boy, don't you worry any 
more. I'll fix it for you. {Enter Nettie and 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 105 

Farrar door r. 3 e.) Mrs. Fitzhew, don't you be- 
lieve what those other people have been saying to 
you — your husband has told you the truth ! Mr. 
Daunton, when was your letter from Mr. Fitzhew 
dated ? 

Daunton. The 22nd. 

Majors. Where ? 

Daunton. Hotel Jardin, City of Mexico. 

Fitzhew. No, no, no 

Majors. Mr. Farrar, when did you see Mr. 
Fitzhew ? 

Farrar. On the 22nd. 

Majors. Where ? 

Farrar. Hotel Jardin, City of Mexico. 

Majors. There you are — you swear! 

Farrar* arjc? Daunton. We swear! 

Fitzhew. (Crosses to c.) I'd like to be alone 
now — I'd show you how to swear. 

Majors. Fitz, my boy, you see I've not deserted 
you yet. 

Fitzhew. You said you'd fix it for me and I 
think you have this time. Don't believe him, Clem- 
mie. 

Clementina. I didn't believe it of you to de- 
ceive me like this. 

(Enter Loveall and Cook r. 3 e. As Cook enters 
Farrar crosses to r.) 

Fitzhew. Now listen, Clemmie, I'll tell you the 
truth. 

Clementina. Don't speak to me. 

Fitzhew. I have not been in Mexico at all. 

All. What! 

Fitzhew. No, I have been in jail. 

Ladies. Jail! 

Clementina. You expect me to believe this? 

Fitzhew. (To Cook) Cook, haven't I been in 
jail for thirty days? 



io6 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 

Cook. That's right. 

Sallie. What did you go to jail for? 

FiTZHEW. For thirty days. I just told you. 

Daunton. But why ? 

FiTZHEW. To shield the wife I love from dis- 
grace. 

Clementina. Humph! 

FiTZHEW. Yes? Humph! Now listen, one 
month ago to-night I w^as at the Cleopatra. 

Clementina. So was I? (Falls on knees) 

FiTZHEW. What were you doing there? 

Majors. Now let me fix this — (Crosses to c.) 

FiTZHEW. If you open your mouth I'll kill you — 
I'll fix this. 

Clementina. And you knew I was arrested? 

FiTZHEW. Yes — ^but I couldn't bear to see you 
in those prison stripes and when I found out you 
were to serve thirty days, I took your place. 

Clementina. (Rises) Benjamin, I never 
realized the true nobility of your character until 
now. Won't you forgive me? 

FiTZHEW. On one condition. 

Clementina. Anything, Benjamin, anything. 

FiTZHEW. That you cross Mexico off the map. 

Majors. I knew I'd fix it. 

(Enter Miranda c. d. r.) 

Miranda. Supper is served. 

Clementina. Benjamin, I have a little surprise 
for you. (Spanish speech) Va mos a tener obla 
Podrida. 

FiTZHEW. What's that? 

Clementina. A sort of Mexican stew with 
beans, 

FiTZHEW. I don't want any more beans. 

Clementina. Now let me see how shall I ar- 
range this. Mr. Loveall and Mr. Farrar take Nettie, 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO. J 07 

Mr. Daunton you take Sallie, Mr. Majors will take 
me. 

{All start to exit c. d.) 

Cook. Say, Fitz, what will I take? (Exit 
Cook) 

FiTZHEW. You take that hat off and keep it off. 
{Exit doing lockstep) 

(Music. Lockstep. All take partners. Music 
forte for) 

CURTAIN. 



THE MAN FROM MEXICO 



Property Plot 

Act 1 Scene. Light Fancy Interior 



Green baize or ground cloth 

(down) 
Medallion, 6 fancy rugg 
White and gold furnitura 
I Bofa, 4 chairs 
1 arm chair 
6 reception chaira 
4 onyx stands 
What-not and bric-a-brac 
Large upright hall hat-rack 
Fancy screen, 6 feet high 
Wooden chair without back 
Hat tree R 2 E 
Picture and easel 
Small willow table and chair L 3 K 



1 fancy table 2 ft. 6 in. square 
(On table) fancy table cover 
Tap bell, silver tray 

Silver pitcher (to hold aquart) 
Cut-glass deeanterl 

2 small whiskey gasses 
Matches 

Klectric bell R 3 E 
2 empty siphons R 3 E 
2 vases, 2 statuettes 
4 plants in pots, 4 jardiniers'.L 3 B 
I/ady 's vali se, 2 hat boxes , 1 dress 
box R 3 E 

Card tray, 2 visiting cards L 4 E 
Curtains for large openings [See 
scene plot) 



Act 2 Scene. Interior of Prison Warden's Office 



Green baize or ground cloth 
Office furniture— oak 
Office writing table 
4 round-bacl' Vienna chairs 
Small upright writing desk 
Swivel office chair 
Leather covered couch 
Fancy sideboard with mirror 
Upright piano and stool 
2 small stands 
Waste basket 
4 large books (on stands) 
4 pieces oi sheet music 
Piano cover and 3 pieces of bric- 
a-brac (on piano) 



Documents, writing material 

Large ledger 

Pen and inkstand [on dask) 

2 silver tray, 2 decanters 

C champagne glasses, 6 whiskey 

glasses 
Fancy bottles, 3 nppkins, 2 towels 
Fancy cigar box (on sideboard) 
1 newspaper 

Dark curtain (on arch) R 2 E 
Bass drum L3 E 

Sure-fire revolver (loaded) L 3 E 
Sure-lire shotgun (loaded) L 3 E 
4 pairs of handcuffs 
4 supers, without mustaches 



Act 3 Scene. Same as Act 1 



Use same Furniture, Mexican oanaments and covers Piano and 
Btool, sheet music, Tap bcil ou table. Resin board, L3E 



DOROTHY'S NEIGHBORS. 

A brand new comedy in four acts, by Marie Doran, author of "The 
New Co-Ed," "Tempest and Sunshine," and many other successful plays. 
4 males, 7 females. The scenes are extremely easy to arrange ; two plain 
interiors and one exterior, a garden, or, if necessary, the two interiors 
will answer. Costumes modern. Plays 2J4 hours. 

The story is about vocational trainiag, a subject now widely discussed; also, 
the distribution cf large wealth. 

Buck of the comedy situation and snappy dialogue there is good logic and 
1 sound moral in this pretty play, which is worthy the attention of the experi- 
enced amateur. It is a clean, wholesome play, particularly suited to high school 
production. Price, 30 Cents. 



MISS SOMEBODY ELSE. 

A modern play in four acts by Marion Short, author of "The Toucli- 
down," etc. G males, 10 females. Two interior scenes. Costumes mod- 
ern. Plays 214 hours. 

This delightful comedy has gripping dramatic moments, unusual character 
types, a striking and original plot and is essentially modern in theme and treat- 
ment. The story concerns the adventures of Constance Darcy, a multi-million- 
aire's young daughter. Constance embarks on a trip to find a young man who 
had been in her father's employ and had stolen a large sum of money. She 
almost succeeds, when suddenly all traces of the young man are lost. At this 
point she meets some old friends who are living in almost want and, in order to 
assist them through motives benevolent, she determines to sink her own aristo- 
cratic personality In that of a refined but humble little Irish waitress with the 
family that are In want. She not only carries her scheme to success in assisting 
the family, but finds romance and much tense and lively adventure during the 
period of her incognito, aside from capturing the young man who had defrauded 
her father. The story is full of bright comedy lines and dramatic situations and 
is highly recommended for amateur production. This is one of the best come- 
dies we have ever offered with a large number of female characters. The dialogue 
is bright and the play is full of action from start to finish; not a dull moment in 
it. This is a great comedy for high schools and colleges, and the wholesome 
story will please the parents and teachers. We strongly recommend it. 

Price, 30 Cents. 

PURPLE AND FINE LINEN. 

An exceptionally pretty comedy of Puritan New England, in three 
acts, by Amita B. Fairgrieve and Helena Miller. 9 male, 5 female char- 
acters. 

This is the Lend A Hand Smith College prize play. It is an admirable play 
for amateurs, is rich in character portrayal of varied types and is not too difficult 
while thoroughly pleasing. Price, 30 Cents. 

(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 



SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th Street, New York City 

Mew and Explicit Descriptiye Catalogue Mailed Free oa Request 



THE TOUCH-DOWN. 

A comedy in four acts, by Marion Short. 8 males, 6 females, but ary 
number of characters can be introduced in the ensembles. Costumes mod- 
ern. One interior scene throughout the play. Time, 2H hours. 

This play, written for the use of clever amateurs, is the story of life in 
Siddell, a Pennsylvania co-educational college. It deals with the vicissitudes and 
final triumph of the Siddell Football Eleven, and the humorous and dramatic 
incidents connected therewith. 

"The Touch-Down" has the true varsity atmosphere, college songs are sung, 
and the piece is lively and entertaining throughout. High schools will make no 
mistake in producing this play. We strongly recommend it as a high-class and 
-well-written comedy. Price, 30 Cents. 



HURRY, HURRY, HURRY. 

A comedy in three acts, by LeRoy Arnold. 5 males, 4 females. One 
interior scene. Costumes modern. Plays 2% hours. 

The story is based on the will of an eccentric aunt. It stipulates that her 
pretty niece must be affianced before she is twenty-one. and married to her 
fiance within a yean, if she is to get her spinster relative's million. Father has 
nice notions of honor and fails to tell daughter about the will, so that she may 
make her choice untrammeled by any other consideration than that of true love. 
The action all takes place in the evening the midnight of which will see her 
reach twenty-one. Time is therefore short, and it is hurry, hurry, hurry, if she 
is to become engaged and thus save her father from impending bankruptcy. 

The situations are intrinsically funny and the dialogue is sprightly. The 
characters are natural and unaffected and the action moves with a snap such as 
should be expected from its title. Price, 30 Cents. 



THE VARSITY COACH. 

A three-act play of college life, by Marion Short, specially adapted 
to performance by amateurs or high school students. 5 males, 6 females, 
but any number of boys and girls may be introduced in the action of the 
play. Two settings necessary, a college boy's room and the university 
campus. Time, about 2 hours. 

Like many another college boy, "Bob" Selby, an all-round popular college 
man, becomes possessed of the idea that athletic prowess is more to be desired 
than scholarship. He is surprised in the midst of a "spread" in his room in 
Regatta week by a visit from his aunt who is putting him through college. 
Aunt Serena, "a lady of the old school and the dearest little woman in the 
whole world," has hastened to make this visit to her adored nephew under the 
mistaken impression that he is about to receive the Fellowes prize for scholarship. 
Her grief and chagrin when she learns that instead of the prize Robert has 
received "a pink card," which is equivalent to suspension for poor scholarship, 
gives a touch of pathos to an otherwise jolly comedy of college life. How the 
repentant Robert more than redeems himself, carries oflf honors at the last, and 
in the end wins Ruth, the faithful little sweetheart of the "Prom" and the class- 
room makes a story of dramatic interest and brings out very clearly certaia 
phases of modern college life. There are several opportunities for the_ introductioa 
of college songs and "stunts." Price, 30 Cents. 

(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 



SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th Street. New York City 

New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed Free on Bequest 



THE RETURN OF HI JINKS. 

A comedy in four acts, by Marion Short, author of "The Varsity 
Coach," "The Touch-Down," etc. 6 males, 8 females. Costumes modern. 
One interior scene. 

This comedy is founded upon and elaborated from a farce comedy in two acts 
written by J. H. Horta, and originally produced at Tuft's College. 

Hiram Poynter Jinks, a Junior in Hoosic College (Willie Collier type), and a 
young moving picture actress (Mary Pickford type), are the leading characters in 
this lively, modern farce. 

Thomas Hodge, a Senior, envious of the popularity of Jinks, wishes to think 
•up a scheme to throw ridicule upon him during a visit of the Hoosic Glee Club to 
Jinks's home town. Jinks has obligingly acted as a one-day substitute in a 
moving picture play, in which there is a fire scene, and this gives Hodge his cue. 
He sends what seems to be a bona fide account of Jinks's heroism at a Hoosic 
fire to Jinks's home paper. Instead of repudiating his laurels as expected, Jinks 
decides to take a flyer in fame, confirms the fake story, confesses to being a hero 
and is adored by all the girls, to the chagri* and discomfiture of Hodge. Of 
course, the truth comes out at last, but Jinks is not hurt thereby, and his romance 
with Mimi Mayflower comes to a successful termination. 

This is a great comedy for amateurs. It is full of funny situations and is 
sure to please. Price, 30 Cents. 

JUNE. 

A most successful comedy-drama in four acts, by Marie Doran, author 
of "The New Co-Ed," "Tempest and Sunshine," "Dorothy's Neighbors," 
etc. 4 males, 8 females. One interior scene. Costumes modern. Plays 
2J4 hours. 

This play has a very interesting group of young people. June is an appealing 
little figure, an orphan living with her aunt. There are a number of delightful, 
life-like characters: the sorely tried, likeable Mrs. Hopkins, the amusing, haughty 
Miss Banks of the glove department, the lively Tilly and Milly, who work in the 
store, and ambitious Snoozer; Mrs. Hopkins's only son, who aspires to be Presi- 
dent of the United States, but finds his real sphere is running the local trolley- 
car. The play is simplicity itself in the telling of an every-day story, and the 
scenic requirements call for only one set, a room in the boarding house of Mrs. 
Hopkins, while an opportunity is afforded to introduce any number of extra 
characters. Musical numbers may be introduced, if desired. Price, 30 Cents* 

TEMPEST AND SUNSHINE. 

A comedy drama in four acts, by Marie Doran. 5 males and 3 females* 
One exterior and three interior scenes. Plays about 2 hours. 

Every school girl has revelled in the sweet simplicity and gentleness of the 
characters interwoven in the charms that Mary J. Holmes commands in her 
story of "Tempest and Sunshine." We can strongly recommend this play as one 
of the best plays for high school production published in recent years. 

Price, 30 Cents, 

(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 

^n II II mil ^^^iMil— 

SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th Street, New York City 

New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed Free on fisijuest 



JUST PUBLISHED 

Nothing But the Truth 

A Farcical Comedy in Three Acts 

By 

James Montgomery 

Cast of Characters 

Bob Bennett 

B. M. Ralston 

Clarence Van Dusen 

Bishop Doran 

Dick Donnelly 

Gwen 

Mrs. Ralston 

Ethel 

Mable 

Sable 

Martha 

SCENES 

ACT 1. A Broker's Office 

ACT 2. Parlor of a Country Home 
ACT 3. " " " " 

TIME: The Present 

"Nothingr But the Truth" is built upon the simple Idea 
of its hero speaking nothing but the absolute truth for a 
stated period. He bets a friend ten thousand dollars 
that he can do it, and boldly tackles truth to win the 
money. For a very short time the task is placidly easy, 
but Truth routs out old man Trouble and then things be- 
gin to happen. Trouble doesn't seem very large and 
aggressive when he first pokes his nose into the noble 
resolve of our hero, but he grows rapidly and soon we 
Bee our dealer in truth disrupting the domestic relations 
of his partner. In fact. Trouble works overtime, and 
reputations that have been unblemished are smirched. 
Situations that are absurd and complications almost 
knotted, pile up, all crediiod to Truth, and the result of 
the wager to foster and cherish that great virtue from 
the lips of the man who has espoused the cause of truth 
to win a wager. 

It is a novel idea and so well has it been worked out 
that an audience is kept in throes of laughter at the 
seemingly impossible task to untangle snarls into which 
our hero has involved all those he coiries into contact 
•with. It is a clean bright farce of well drawn characterjj 
and was built for laughing purposes only. 

William Collier played "Nothing But the Truth" for a 
year at the Longacre Theatre, New York, and it has been 
on tour for over two seasons. 

After three years continuous success on the profess- 
ional stage we are now offering "Nothing But the Truth" 
for amateur production. It is one of the funniest and 
brightest farces ever written, and it is admirably suite** 
to amateur production. 

PaicE 6o Cents 



THE REJUVENATION OF AUNT MARY. 

The famous comedy in three acts, by Anne Warner. 7 male*, S 
females. Three interior scenes. Costumes modern. Plays 2J4 hours. 

This is a genuinely funny comedy with splendid parts for "Aunt Marjr," 
^'Jack," her lively nephew; "Lucinda," a New England ancient maid of all watii 
"Jack's" three chums; the Girl "jack" loves; "Joshua," Aunt Mary's hirS 
man, etc. 

"Aunt Mary" was played by May Robson in New York and on tour for ove* 
two years, and it is sure to be a big success wherever produced. We strongl;f 
recommend it. Price, 00 Ce^tft . 

MRS. BUMSTEAD-LEIGH. 

A pleasing comedy, in three acts, by Harry James Smith, author of 
^'The Tailor-Made Man." 6 males, 6 females. One interior scene. Cos- 
tumes modern. Plays 2^ hours. 

Mr. Smith chose foi* his initial comedy the complications arising from the 
endeavors of a social climber to land herself in the altitude peopled by hyphenated 
names— a theme permitting innumerable complications, according to the spirit of 
the writer. 

This most successful comedy was toured for several seasons by Mrs. Fiske 
with enormous success. Price, 60 Ceats. 

MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 

A most successful farce in three acts, by Frank Wyatt and William 
Morris. 5 males, 4 females. One interior scene stands throughout the 
three acts. Costumes modern. Plays 2^4 hours. 

"Mrs. Temple's Telegram" is a sprightly farce in which there is an abund- 
• ance of fun without any taint of impropriety or any element of oflFence. As 
noticed by Sir Walter Scott, "Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we 
.practice to deceive!" 

There is not a dull moment in the entire farce, and from the time the curtaia 
rises until it makes the final drop the fun is fast and furious. A very exceptional 
•farce. Price, 60 Cents. 

THE NEW CO-ED. 

A comedy in four acts, by Marie Doran, author of "Tempest anJ 
Sunshine," etc. CharacterSj 4 males, 7 females, though any number of 
boys and girls can be introduced in the action of the play. One interior 
and one exterior scene, but can be easily played in one interior scene. 
Costumes modern. Time, about 2 hours. 

Tf;e theme of this play is the coming of a new student to the college, he* 
reception by the scholars, her trials and final triumph. 

There are three especially good girls' parts, Letty, Madge and Estelle. bat 
the others have plenty to do. "Punch" Doolittle and George Washington Watts, 
a gentleman of color, are two particularly good comedy characters. We cft* 
Strongly recommend "The New Co-Ed" to high schools and amateurs. 

Price, 30 Cents. 

(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 
SAMUEL FRENCH, 28'30 West 38th Street, New York City 

New and Explicit Descriptive Catalo^e Mailed Free on Request 



FRENCH'S 
Standard Library Edition 

Includes Plays by 



Clyde Fitch 
R. C. Carton 
Alfred Sutro 
Richard Harding Davis 
Arthur W. Pinero 
Anthony Hope 
Oscar Wilde 
Haddon Chambers 
Jerome K. Jerome 
Cosmo Gordon Lennox 
H. V. Esmond 
Mark Swan 
Grace L. Fumiss 
Marguerite Merringfton 
Hermann Sudermann 
Rida Johnson Young 
Arthur Law 
Rachel Crothers 
Augustus Thomas 
William Gillette 
George Broadhurst 
Martha Morton 
H. A. Du Souchet 
Edward E. Kidder 
W. W. Jacobs 



Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 
Louis N. Parker 
Madeleine Lucette Ryley 
Winchell Smith 
Margaret Mayo 
Wm. C. de Mille 
Edward Peple 
A. E. W. Mason 
Charles Klein 
James Forbes 
Henry Arthur Jones 
A- E. Thomas 
Channing Pollock 
Fred. Ballard 
J. Hartley Manners 
James Montgomery 
Cyril Harcourt 
Roi Cooper Megrue 
Carlisle Moore 
Ernest Denny 
Laurence Housman 
Harry James Smith 
Edgar Selwyn 
Augustin McHugh 
Robert Housum 



Percy Mac Kay e 
French's International Copyrighted Edition con- 
tains plays, comedies and farces of international 
reputation; also recent professional successes by 
famous American and English Authors. 

Send a four-cent stamp for our new catalogue 
describing thousands of plays. 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

Oldest Play Publisher In the World 

28-30 West 38th Street, NEW YORK CITY 



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^^^ INDIANA 46962 



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